It seems like this group is inactive given the last posts were about 4 years ago.  I lost someone almost 2 years ago and I still feel the hurt as if it was the first day.  Because of the nature of our relationship absolutely no one knows I'm grieving and I am completely alone.  Over the course of the last couple years without him I've quit all my volunteer jobs, hobbies and pushed away everyone in my life.  I have never been more alone and I just struggle with finding reasons to keep going every day.  I have done little to no processing of my grief because I can't and by nature I just don't anyway.

Every day is pain and hurt and I just see very little reason for anything anymore.  I miss him so much all the time.  He's all I think about all day.  Him and what a pathetic sack of shit I am for missing him so much after all this time.  I hate myself for how much I hurt and I hate him for leaving and I hate the world for existing.  I just hate everything.

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Replies to This Discussion

Hi Alice.

I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I completely understand hating everyone, and everything, after a loss. I lost my favorite person in the world two weeks ago, today. That's why I am here. Grieving is a difficult thing to do. Just try to cope any way you know how.

I am not saying that I know exactly what you are going through, but I am here if you ever need to talk.

Thank you.  I know all grief is valid but I just feel like mine is not and I deserve it.  

Hi.  I recently read your post and I feel like you and I may have a lot in common.  I lost the man I loved on the first of the year.  We also had an extremely complicated relationship that no one really knew about and it is so hard.  I miss him so much.  I know talking about it can help and if we can be there for each other I would like to be.  I think we may understand each other's positions really well.

Thank you.  I feel like I can never move past this because I can't grieve openly.  Everyone around me is frustrated because they don't understand why I'm so depressed and I can't tell them so I've pulled away from everyone in my life.  I just want the earth to swallow me up so i don't have to be here anymore

You're welcome.  I have sent you a friend invite in case you wanted to message each other privately.  I am finding some days are a little easier but then I turn around and without any reason find myself crying and missing my love.  I hope that we can connect and support each other and grieve with each other during this difficult time in our lives.

I feel this group is not up dated but if you want to talk I can use some one too 

Hi, I'm sorry I kinda stopped checking back here.  How are you?  I'm sorry you're stuggling.  Last week for me was kinda of ok.  This week, not as much.

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