I have fought to keep what little there is left of my sanity. Annette being gone has caused profound pain mentally and physically. I know many here know what I'm talking about. I wake up and STILL expect to find her laying down in bed with me every morning.

I still keep having flashbacks of the good times and bad times. When we kissed, when we fought.  It still feels like the first day.

I'll find peace when we're together. Until then,   my life is nothing but just waiting to until with God's mercy my time will come soon and I can be at rest with Annette.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

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I'm sorry for your loss Richard. I'm guessing your wife would not want you to give up and would want you to finish your mission here on earth whatever that may be. I lost my husband in a whirlwind cancer diagnosis on May 10. He lived 7 months. I haven't even begun to process it but I know he would want me to try and carry on as best I can. Are you seeing a grief counselor?

Nancy:

You have my sympathies over the loss of your beloved husband. I suppose each of us are stuck in certain situations are the same.

For me, with with no children, partially disabled with morbid obesity and a groin filled with so much  lymphatic fluid I walk with what amounts to a small  beach ball between my legs.

The solitude as I have mentioned in previous posts is literally taking its toll. I have micro-blackouts which  means I faint for a second only to find out I've been unconscious for an hour or so.

This means cooking is out. I have no strength for shopping and I lay in bed in agony. Add the job I currently have and now soon will lose due to my inability of having a mix of pain and exhaustion walking a few feet at a time.

I'm going to lose my position as I was warned no "sleeping on the job". I was able to keep thus far thanks to a doctors note. But that won't last as I get worse and worse.

\I go this Tuesday for a medical assessment to determine if I am eligible for social security disability. It's the final portion after 6 months of hoping and waiting. If i don't get it, after fighting to hold on to my apartment, I will finally once and for all be homeless. Something I have tried avoiding since Annette died.

I continue to fight but every fight ends with someone winning or someone losing. My help is failing but if it's my fate to be homeless, I can at least know I fought as best I could.

I'm going to pray Tuesday goes well.

Rich

for me no had a bad few yrs thrt it wud be ok

bt ths yrs bean a bad 1

bean a vivtm of crim

moms alz/dem gets wors 

i no i need 2 cry bt im wored if ido ill  be cri till 2020

sorry if imsayin wong tthns or putin my foot in ti

Jo:

You shouldn't feel bad about what you have said. everyone of us grieves differently. some people find it easy to say "grow up" and "get over it". They think we're like machines. when we're just human beings and human beings love and need love. when we lose that love a part of us literally is taken away. Love is indeed like a limb.

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