My youngest sister was a 25-year old Cystic Fibrosis patient. After two years waiting for a double-lung transplant, she got the call in December 2012, and underwent the surgery. However, her particular situation caused her to be on certain post-op medications longer than usual, and along with a nasty lurking rhino virus and a bout with septic shock, her new lungs became as damaged as her original lungs. My sister bravely and beautifully fought her way back to relative health as she awaited her second double-lung transplant. She basically lived at the hospital (along with our mom, her fiance, and two of our brothers) doing daily rehab, gaining back the weight she'd lost early in her recovery, making little crafts and jewelry and pieces of art for people, reaching out to people all over the world via facebook and her own blog.

This all suddenly changed in early June of last year, when she had a terrible reaction to a procedure... and (to make a long story short) within a week she spiraled downward. They tried several treatments, and finally one last outside-the-box option, basically a last ditch effort to turn things around. She spent several days in an induced coma; her numbers would look worse one reading, then better the next, and back and forth. She fought her last good fight with all of our family at her side, sitting with her, reading and singing to her, holding her hand, talking to her--until her numbers took a clear and apparently irreversible turn. She died the morning of June 17, with all of us gathered around her, singing her favorite songs, telling favorite stories, and holding her as she slipped away. She was one week shy of her 26th birthday.

She's no longer struggling, fighting, battling her own body and the cruelness that the beastly Cystic Fibrosis caused her. When I see butterflies, pink sunrises and sunsets, a bright blue sky, pink flowers, I think of her... she reveled in Nature, and pink was her signature color. She will never marry the love of her life and dance at their wedding--a dream onto which she long held. She will never travel to the places she longed to experience. She will not see her nephews and niece--all who she ADORED--grow up; and they will grow-up without her beautiful, loving presence in their lives. From the time she was a small child, she did everything that was ever medically asked of her. And she did so much more--so many extra things to maintain her health. She gave 150% to staying here, to loving others, to spreading peace and joy. She was Love.

I never, for one second, believed that she wouldn't make it home with new lungs and a new life ahead (at least for a while)... not until that mid-June morning when our dad came out into the waiting room--after a long night's vigil by her side--and said that her readings were definitively irreversible. This isn't how it was supposedly to be...

I used to adhere to the idea that if you believe in something, if you work hard, if you give it your all--you will overcome, you make it happen. It turns out that is not always true; and it certainly wasn't true for the one person I've ever known who deserved it the most... and I am heartbroken.

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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Danny. Surviving is art which we all need to practice. Today I met a friend whose father is witnessing the similar illness as my mother i.e. late stage cancer. He is also going through the same emotional turmoil as I went in 2018. After this…"
16 minutes ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Danny. I hear you.  December will be 4 years "
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Danny replied to Carla Rose's discussion Lost my Mom a Few Days Ago in the group Lost Without My Mom
"Great reply Sandra"
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Danny commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been 5 years and here I am back on the site. Surviving and functioning but just about. "
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wonderful Avi!!!  "
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Amen, Avi."
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks all. This group is my extended family. "
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M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, that is so lovely to hear — best wishes to her and your family!"
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"That's wonderful, Avi. Congratulations. And I wish you another 100 years with her."
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Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am so happy for you & your family.  I am glad your daughter had a great birthday!  That first birthday is always special.  Take care, "
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Friends, my daughter's first bday celebration went great. She is now 1 year old and motivating force for my dad to live. My dad is able to laugh and enjoy life because of his grand daughter. Even I feel motivated to live so that I…"
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Stephanie Berndt is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Judy Pugh left a comment for Kevin's Mom
"You are still Kevin’s mom, and you always will be. NOTHING, not even death, can change that. I don’t know what your beliefs are, and I’m not trying to shove my beliefs onto you. I just want you to know that I truly believe this is…"
Aug 10
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Teresa D. the line is "Mama  don't you cry for me, I'm sailing in eternity..." Makes me feel emotional and happy that it resonates with you and that you remember it. <3"
Aug 9
Connie K commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Kevin's mom I am so terribly sorry for your devastating loss. I lost my only child as well - Daniel - at age 17. That was 6 and a half years ago. I can't tell you how i made it through, but I have, one day at a time sometimes one minute at…"
Aug 9
Gale Brunault commented on Gale Brunault's group Loss of an Only Child
"I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious son. Why do bad things happen to good people? We may never find the answers.......please know that you are not alone. "
Aug 9
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Kevin's Mom commented on Gale Brunault's group Loss of an Only Child
"I lost my 32 yr old son, my only child, on July 10 2019. He was killed in a motorcycle accident. My heart is shattered and my life will never be the same. This is life's most cruel event."
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