As I approach the 3rd year without my lady, I thank my God for the gift of the 24 years I had with her in marriage and then sti down and let the knife stabbing burn ing pain from hell soak through my body. It never gets better. This pain is worse than any physical pain and this pain never...never goes away. The tears that burn the eyes rain down on a regular and daily basis and my suicidal thinking is ramping up.I told my counselor. I just can't take this pain anymore. Of course, he replied, "Sure you can, you already are". If I was taking it I would feel fine wouldn't I...Yet, the fire from hell continues to scorch my soul and I beg for God to take me now and release me from my waking nightmare and horrible existence which serves me no good...no good at all...Grief is yelling not whispering.  I wish it would shut up. I need some peace. This group helps quiet the voice of grief. Perhaps one day, it's voice will be completely quiet...when I am reunited with my gift from God and am at peace

Thank you everyone.....This group is a lifesaver.

Views: 165

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Mel, I understand exactly what you mean, how you feel. 20 years of marriage, he's been gone 4 years and 4 months. The tears and grief are still like hot acid when I sit down and they wash over me. Yes, this group has made the difference for the "Me" I am today. God bless, AnneJ.

I am so very sorry.

I can’t even imagine what your pain is like. My wife has battled cancer 6 times and we thought we were going to lose her on more than one occasion. I have suffered several difficult losses but at least I still have my wife.

i do know this...what helps me is a clear and positive hope for the future. I believe what the Bible tells us. It describes reunions with our loved ones that we have lost. 

Mark 5:42 — And immediately the girl rose and began walking. (She was 12 years old.) And at once they were beside themselves with great ecstasy.

This is an account of a family devastated by a death and then overwhelmed with ecstasy with the reunion.

I know that our future doesn’t take the pain away...but it can give us hope, and hope helps us get through.

I wish you the best, and if there is anything that I can do to help please let me know. 

RSS

Latest Activity

Darien commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Hello Krista,I'm afraid this forum isn't as active as some of us would like. I remember when I first came out here two years ago, raw with emotion. I still have times when I find myself still grieving, although it isn't as painful now…"
53 minutes ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I understand Brett, but I don't want to be "checked out" They mess with your mind, I just want to be myself again."
4 hours ago
Silke B. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"When the stars shine up in the sky, I miss you. When the sun rises & sets every day, I miss you. When the rain falls and everything looks bright and beautiful, I miss you. Every day, every hour, in every way, in everything I do, I miss you."
11 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I also would like to hear from Bluebell."
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I finally came to the realization that what I was doing wasn't working for me. And I realized that taking an anti-depressant couldn't be any worse than crying all of the time, not sleeping, and destroying myself with guilt and…"
13 hours ago
Rebecca Clemens posted a blog post

Life without them

It's been 2 years and 2 months since I lost my dad, and 1 year and 3 months since u lost my grandmother. Sometimes I feel like they were never here, like this is normal life without them. Then I have moments when I want to curl up in a ball and just cry because it hurts so much to miss them. I try to remember the good moments but all I can think about is the last days.The other day I was at the hospital with a friend and when we walked in I saw my dad, like I was shook this older women was…See More
13 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well it probably did help me but I gained about 20 pounds and I hardly eat anything because of my IBS so I don’t know what happened"
16 hours ago
Rebecca Clemens is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
16 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Ok thanks Theresa. I sometimes want to try them but skeptical. "
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I tried one Lexapro I did the pediatric does of 5mg"
17 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, are you trying too many anti depressants?"
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Ok so my friend had to do the unthinkable, her dog is not suffering anymore.  But it just set off a crying spell with me. Maybe I need to go to the dr again, for the 10th time. So he can just look at me and say, do you want to try and…"
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell how are you?"
17 hours ago
Miriam updated their profile
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I hope your Dad is doing well.  That must have been hard on you being in the hospital.  I am also sorry you are having more guilt like me.  It’s a horrible feeling.  Also one that others don’t understand."
yesterday
Monty replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Im sorry for your loss no matter how long ago it is. i can only imagine the pain and emotions you are still going though. for me it was taking care of the kids and finding one thing to achieve (no matter how small) helped a lot. it was as small…"
Sunday
M Adams left a comment for Jarvis
"Thank you for creating this site, it is a lifeline for many people.  Hope your health is improving every day."
Sunday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hope every one is doing fine. Last week my father got an infection and was hospitalized so could not follow much here. Now he is better and recovering.  Virginia, you seem to be totally engrossed in the guilt which I can…"
Sunday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My boyfriend finally gave up.  I don’t blame him at all. And Brett I will tell you I don’t deserve the prayers, pray for my Mom please."
Sunday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So the dr talked to my therapist and he told her the same things he told me.  I had asked her to try to get more answers.  I actually feel worse because I had someone ask some doctors about using ventilators.  The oncologist told us…"
Sunday

© 2018   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service