Last Monday, my husband, who was driving himself to the hospital, went into cardiac arrest. His heart stopped beating for 30 minutes. He was put on a ventalator, which we disconnected on Wednesday. He had passed away immediately it seems.
I had no time to prepare fur such an event. I spoke to him at 8am about his pain in the arm, and he underestimated it, and was gone by 9am. No time to say goodbye, nothing. It feels as if my heart has been ripped open, and I do not know what to do. Thankfully, there are many friends and family who have been calling, comming to visit, sending emails to hold me up, but it still is very difficult.
Any advice on what to read, or what steps to take to walk through this horrible grief.
My husband's death was not sudden. I thought I was prepared for him to go and was handling the grief very well. Then I found out I'd just been stuffing it away and ignoring it. I have no great words of wisdom to offer you. But you do have my sympathies. I miss my husband very much, as I know you miss yours. Some days are better than others, some are worse. Don't hide from your grief the way I did - that only prolongs the process. Just go one day at a time, knowing that it will get better.
Eve, I did the same thing when our daughter died. I was so busy taking care of everyone else I forgot to take care of myself. 7 years later it hit me and I am in couciling now. I'm glad you caught yours sooner. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know your days have to be so empty. I am praying for you. (((hugs)))) Katherine
Blessings to you all. When my wife died I spent most of my energy focusing on my daughters. With their sudden deaths a few years later, I found myself stripped and blinded by loss. Today I run a small retreat center that helps those in need with grief and loss. It is called Golden Willow Retreat. Please pull it up and see if it can be of help for anyone you know. www.goldenwillowretreat.org
I also write a newspaper column in the Taos News and I answer questions about emotional healing from loss. Please send any questions that you would like to see explored to email@example.com
Blessings to you all. Ted Wiard
I m very sorry for heard about your loss. Its such a horrible loss. I know its very tough time for you. 3 years ago my uncle have been also in same situation. My uncle died with heart attack and he stopped beating for 7mins. Its difficult to deal with our grief. I loved him very much and miss him lot.
I understand your feelings what you feel this time. You should trying to deal with your grief but I know its difficult. When we lost our loved one, its so painful to us. Its all in God's hand, we are nothing against God's power. You should go to grief counseling for deal with your horrible grief. Its really helpful community.
I pray to God for you.
"Hi Miriam, You have my deepest admiration and empathy. I don't have any family left to speak of. For years there was no one to talk to about my daily life. Although I found it difficult to be open with people and preferred to help them rather…"
"Miriam, thanks for what you’ve said here, think it will be helpful to many other people here and I hope writing it down will help you as well. What you say about the way you miss your uncle, the loss of rituals and of his expressions of…"
An uncle in our family committed suicide. For five years his wife, Aunt Alice, said the same things over and over again to anyone who would listen. We are a loving family, so we listened and said the same hopefully comforting things back to her again and again. And after five years she was done and could move on. I hope it doesn't take five years, but I need to talk about my Uncle Jim and my cousin Paul and probably repeat myself a lot. It took a long time to develop my relationship with…See More
"Hi everyone, My name is Katherine.
I am learning how to deal with the loss of my mom, she passed away two months ago.My mom was never my best friend, but she was so much more. She made me the person that I am today and living without her has…"
Two months ago, my mom committed suicide. As of now, this has to be one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life. I hope that through this forum I may be able to just reach out to someone who can kind of understand what my situation is like.My friends try to talk to me (and I do reach out to them) but I feel that the situation I am in is a really heavy thing to talk about (basically I don't want to rope my friends into my troubles, nor do I want to be a burden to them). I talk to…See More
"Dona, I am so sorry for your pain. A difficult relationship like yours always leaves all sorts of conflicting feelings that are hard to sort out. I hope that the support you receive here will help you find your way to a better place."
"Hi, I'm brand new, too. I needed some place to talk out the grief that other people don't understand and don't really want to listen to. Hopefully, this will be a helpful place for both of us. Whatever your loss, I…"
This morning there was a crescent moon. I always called it a "fingernail moon," but my cousin Paul called it a "toenail moon." I got all choked up seeing it. Then the Valentine cards are out at Walmart. He loved all the holidays, and I always sent him cards. But no more. More tears to fight back. Sometimes his love for you would overflow, and he would just have to give you a big hug and tell you that he loved you right then and there. I have never had anyone else do that for me. I knew…See More
"Hello to all of you who are here for the same unimaginable reason as I am. I found this website last night after another night of going to bed where instead of sleep, pain sets in that I was able to escape from all day by being busy. Jess's…"