Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I lost my husband 4 years ago. He committed suicide. He got addicted to crack. I have two children by him. My kids are 10 and 7. My kids are great. I truly don't know what I would do without them. I am just feeling so very lonely and feel I have no one to turn to. I really don't have a close family so I feel very lonely. I am fighting some serious depression and need someone to please tell me I am going to be OK. I know we are all fighting a battle.
Thanks for listening
"I just seem to take 2 steps forward and 5 steps back"
Boy that says it all doesnt it? I think for most of us it feels that way. In September I posted about it getting worse not better and that is exactly what I was feeling. I know I dont have any words to offer that can really help, but please know you are not alone in how you feel. You have been through so much it is going to take time to work through. Notice I said work. It is indeed work to get from point A when someone you adore dies, to point B, when you can see life as worth the effort again. And good for you taking care of yourself and going to your doctor! Take care, and good news, the weekend is almost over.
They all tell me we are going to be OK. My sweet David died 9 1/2 weeks ago and I have to admit - I don't see OK anywhere in the future. The pain is so agonizing, the loss so intense. And I understand the loneliness. I don't have any kids and my relatives are mostly a couple of hours away so I don't have the gas money to see them very often. The loneliness is going to kill me, I am sure of it. Weekends used to be my delight - our time together, our time to just ride in the car and do things together Now I dread them. So much emptiness. Going to the mall doesn't help - it seems everyone is there in couples. The park - no good. We used to go there to walk together and ride bikes. I don't know what to tell you. Right now I don't have hope to give myself, much less anyone else. I cry so much, every day. And WHY do people always tell me to drink lots of water??? Is that supposed to be some kind of miracle cure?
My father took his life almost 5 yrs ago. S.O.S (survivors of suicide) has wonderful support groups around the country and online. For your kids may I suggest a book titled "But I didn't get to say goodbye" It's written from a child's view point, has discussion questions at the end of each chapter.
You will be ok one day. I won't lie and say that there will never be bad days. But eventually in time - it gets a little easier...
You can always talk to me if you would like. i know there's a huge difference between loosing one's husband VS a father - but I am always willing to listen
In many ways suicide is the most selfish act and leaves us with a lot of questions we simply can't ask. It's OK to be angry about it, it would be surprising if you weren't angry to some extent, don't try to put a lid on it if you are, let it out.
It is a brave step to step put of the bubble of the event and one that we can only take when we are ready, regardless of other peoples expectations of how long and how we should grieve. However we are all compelled to survive and ultimately thrive again, there is no choice, we do get better and we do get involved with life again.
I want to ask you if you are denying yourself permission to do so? Are you isolating yourself and thus becoming lonelier?
By joining this forum and reaching out you will learn that you are not alone, we may all be strangers, but we have been where you are now and we stand with you there, now, together.
Not all acts of suicide are selfish. This is something that is important to keep in mind. Suicide is an act of desperation when the person cannot see any other way out of a situation, but that doesn't always make it a selfish act.
Hi, you are correct and this is why I said in many ways.