I am really surprised that their are so many people on here like me. Even though their loved one my have passed years ago. They are still grieving terribly. My wife died in feb-13, my mom 7-14. I have made very little progress with that acceptance that was spoke about in the church grief groups that I attended after their deaths. The only real acceptance I have is that my life is crap now. What few friends I have, say get out and date. Just for friendship if nothing else. How do you do that? I don't want anyone but my Karla. period. Is that wrong? I am 56. Karla and I were together for 15 years. Married for 10. No children. We had a wonderful life together. She was my soul mate (no kidding) I am so lost with out her. I see others widowers that seem to grieve for a while and remarry. So many have vast amount of friends and family that occupy them.  I seem to be stuck. Stuck in all the memories of the hell that both my wife and Mother went through before they died. The horror of it. Haunts me constantly. I really don't want to ever go through anything like that again. I know there are those that will say get off your pity pot. Build a new life. Some how I'm not in the mood for that. Still others will say get involved with church. I have tried. People are friendly. But some how I don't fit in. So what to do. I do very much believe in God. Reading the bible is comforting. However I don't want to be one of those that walk around talking about Jesus too much. Maybe I'm just ranting.

I would like to hear about what every one does to occupy their free time. It's amazing to me, but what my wife and I did together. Most of it I just can't bring myself to do any longer. Like Nascar racing. We were semi fans. Even went to a few races. Now it's just to painful to hear or watch any of it. I have our two cats that are company. One small thing I have found is chess on line. You can play chess and chat with people all over the world.  I also walk some. But it's winter now.  So any thoughts? Thanks

 

Views: 517

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Roger 

I have sent you a private message.

Kind regards

Marie

RSS

Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service