I come here to read posts and on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the hardest, we are at infinity.  Having to manage the death of our beloved spouse (him or her) is definitely off the charts.  From reading here after three years I have come to see and feel that all of us even with different circumstances have some major things in common which is why this site is such a lifeline.  I have listed them and would like to share them.  These are from all of you but I think resonate as the exact same feelings we each have.

 

the people I thought would be there for me have left

Seems like 1 step forward and 3 steps back.

I am an adult, and don't understand the meaning of death at all

I'm existing and will make it through this because I don't have a choice

knowing I'm not going through this all alone is definitely helpful

I feel guilty

my husband ……we didn't have anything in order.  So I spend my days on the phone trying to figure things out.  

My mom lost her husband …..I didn't realize until now how terrible it must have been for her.

I still just can't get over the absence and everything I do is done with great effort and sadness

The only energy I really have is anxiety…… I just try to re-channel it

it takes me forever for my brain to claw through the deep fog ……..and sort of wake up

loss has changed who I am

No one will ever love me again like that

I miss him……. so bad it physically hurts

memories that literally hold me hostage

….. was my best friend,  my rock

Now im left behind trying to cope

no one has taken the time to ask how i am…. Everyone seems to expect me to just cope

I miss touch

i feel like all im doing is whining about how bad things are

it is like an episode of the Twilight Zone

When he passed my happily ever after went with him

I am sorry that any of us are here

count this as a good day as I am one day closer to joining him

a horrible dream that we would wake up from

I have to take it one second, one minute, one hour at a time

the world is still moving and don't realize that I am at a standstill

I know he's with me in spirit, but I can't hold him or touch him

I wonder if a person can just will themselves to die.

my family thinks I should be done grieving but I cannot….. I pretend to be ok

I am struggling and I need help

can not even make a decision without getting all confused

I cry every day wanting to know why I could not go with him

Half of me is gone

I'm trying to do things but i dont know how to cope

None of us ever expect this amount of pain and we are all trying to manage it the best we can

everything is a gargantuan effort

alone and broken

There is NO time limit for grief

Until they experience the same gut wrenching life altering loss  that we have experienced, they haven't a clue

All my ups and downs, everything I feel, he was always the first one to know and to understand

Noise, movement, music - practically anything would put my nervous system on excruciating torment

 

To close:

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

Views: 164

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

im sp mest up coz of so mush loss

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

M Adams and joe kelly are now friends
1 hour ago
Amanda joined Laura Rozier's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.See More
5 hours ago
Amanda is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
5 hours ago
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi All I hope everyone has survived the holiday season and has a good of a time as they can. Carol passed in December 20th 2017. Even though this was the second Christmas that Carol wasn't here for it feels a bit like the fist. She…"
9 hours ago
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I don't have the strength to post today.  It was the day of her wake, and the burial was tomorrow, a year ago.  I just want to say that for privacy, I restricted viewing of my photos to friends only so if I sent you an invite, please…"
10 hours ago
Silke B. and Brenda Ann are now friends
yesterday
joe kelly updated their profile
Tuesday
joe kelly joined Katherine Ellis's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Tuesday
Ann updated their profile
Monday
M Adams commented on M Adams's blog post Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now
"Watching it alone last night was sad but I’m glad to have seen it."
Monday
Trina Mamoon left a comment for morgan
"Dear morgan, I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today (January 21st) on the seventh anniversary of the passing of the love of your life. I know that “life” as we live it now after the death of our beloved spouse is worth…"
Monday
Alex is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
Brenda Ann left a comment for morgan
"Dear Morgan, You said, ”What the hell happened to him.  Where is he?  I want to know and I know that is impossible.”  I noticed these 2 questions that you asked and noticed that you don’t feel it is possible to find…"
Monday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful picture of you and your wife and your gravestones will hold both your bodies but you souls will be united in another realm. Morgan,  You will be in thoughts my tomorrow as you try to make it through the…"
Monday
M Adams posted a blog post

Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now

The moon should appear at its reddest at about 9:12 p.m., with the event lasting until about 10:40 p.m.Kelly encourages people to take a look.  "You know, stop and look up and really think about [how] we are on this huge planet, moving around in space and there's very few times that we can actually be reminded and feel the effects of that," she said.See More
Monday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
Monday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
Sunday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
Sunday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
Sunday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
Sunday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service