Today was the 4th birthday my Husband has had since he died. I did a post on Facebook sending him a Happy Birthday in Heaven card. One one single person in my family made one comment, I had one from a friend. It seems to me that after you die no one gives a shit. So what's the sense of me staying alive, he was the love of my life. it if wasn't for my religious beliefs I would end my life. 

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Linda, it's weird isn't it?  These fabulous people we were blessed to have been married to, they fall off the edge of the world when they die. Even family acts like he never existed. In a couple months, my sweetness will have his fourth year away, like your's.... but something funny has happened and it's surprised me. Even astonishes me, actually.  I've got this feeling now that my husband is remembered with love and kindness every single day, it's just that we don't get to know it because others have their private thoughts. Take heart, my dear friend of this group.... even I, who never met him, think of Julian and his wonderful smile and how happy he made you. With love from AnneJ.

Thanks Anne, Linda

We lost a dear friend two months ago. Tragic motorcycle wreck on his way to work, My husband introduced him to his wife way back in 1996. My husband and Jim were good friends and texted each other every morning before work. I am worried about my husband.

We think about Jim everyday. We worry about his wife and are not sure what to do. She is wanting to take 6 month sabbatical from work and we are concerned she will lose her job and health insurance. I know that making quick decisions after the death of a dear loved one is not a good idea. How do we help? Is it none of our business? 

You guys are the kind of friends many of us *wish* we had. Believe me, you're rare. 

My opinion, as a widow of a dearly beloved man, is in reply to this: "How do we help?"  By sitting face to face with her and talking about it. You don't need to give her any advice at all, but she needs someone who loved her hubby, to just talk to about him and how devastating the loss is.... the subject of taking off work will come up and from there just ask kind questions. Like, "It must be so hard to figure this stuff, isn't it?" And guide yourself through her cluttered thoughts and bereft feelings. You can't help by telling her a single thing, but you can help enormously by being a kind and loving soul to witness her hurt and bewilderment. With respect, AnneJ.

That's such a happy picture, made me smile. Hugs jackie x

Thank You, he was a beautiful man.

No. Nobody cares. We have nobody. All we have is Our decisions. The One we love most never leaves Us. We have become One. Is the beauty of true marriage. Not even death can do Us part.

That was beautifully said Jon-Paul


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