I am new to this group and joined after a local grief support group ended.  I haven't found another one yet and would like to.  I lost my husband August 19th.  I met him when I was 23 and he is my best friend and soul mate.  We worked together too so I now have no schedule which everyone thinks I should have.  My husband and I didn't have human children but the four legged ones.  right after Bill died our girl, Belle, developed cancer and I had the tumor removed.  Over the weekend she became sick and is still at the vet.  She is 13 and I don't want to lose her but I know it's close.   I'm just very emotional today and scared.  I have 12 other 'kids' but, of course, Belle  is the one that lights up my day.  I do firmly believe that she will go to her dad and I will be with them again, but this time on earth is driving me crazy at times.

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Hi Debbie, I have not lost a husband to the hereafter, but I have lost two to divorce which can be similar.  I lost my 41 year old son last April 30.  He was disabled by a car accident in 1992.  He lost both legs and had one above and one below amputations.  From the moment of impact, he lived daily with massive phantom pain.  Nothing touched it, however he chose to go one with his life.  He overcame so much.  He had a massive coronary one night at home alone, and my daughter found him the next morning.  It was very hard on us, and I miss him daily, but I would not bring him back to Earth if I could.  I have come to understand that God is in control and even though this is not the way I prayed he would be healed, I know that he is and is just waiting for the rest of us to catch up with him.  That does not mean I don't cry and have a hole in my heart just his size.  

You were together for a long time, was he sick?  I also know about losing precious pets.  We had a male sharpei.  His name was Kai.  We loved him so much.  He developed cancer and we had to put him down. It nearly killed us.  We also had a mini-daschund named Jackie.  I got him from a kennel.  He had been a stud dog and was 4 when I got him.  He was only 100 dollars. The fact is that he had heart worm and was dying.  We got him treatment that nearly killed him, but he pulled through.  also when we got him he only had a metal tag on a wire around his neck and didn't respond to any name.  He had never been loved or handled and pet.  Sept 1 2009 he passed away suddenly.  I cried for weeks.  We had bought a female and had her already. We had let him breed and got his son, who looked just like him but turned out to be a standard. MY girls name is Princess Pei Pei, and Jackie's son is Sammo.  I like Jackie Chan.  My heart breaks for you and feel badly that you have the problem with Belle as well.  It seems nothing will fill the hole in your heart, but I have found that it has helped me to share with others about my son. He was an amazing young man.  I try to be positive about him and realize that it was time for him to rest.  I have 2 other children, a boy, Matthew and a girl, Stacie.  She has 2 little girls, and loves to share them with Grandma. I totally believe like you do that someday we will see all of our loved ones even the 4footed kind.  I told my Mother when she was passing over that she didn't have to worry about me, because I'll be home before dinner.  Time in heaven is not like here. So I'll be there before Shawn and Mom know it.  I will pray for you Debbie. We share our pain here and others understand because they are going through the same things we are.  Unless others have experienced it they don't know.  Praying for your healing,   Peggy Woody.

Sorry about your son.  One of my very good friends is going through a divorce where he left her after 30 years for another woman.  My husband was an attorney that practiced domestic relations and I worked for him.  I am luckier than she is as my husband died loving me.  She is faced every day with betrayal and pain.  I know I will see my husband again and that we will continue.  I just miss having him here.  I will admit that I was spoiled by my dad, met Bill at 23, married at 28, and was spoiled by him.  Now I have to grow up at 53!  Belle isn't doing very well.  She has lost control of her rear legs but is eating now and not in pain.  Working with the vet of course.  I believe she will go to her dad when it happens.  why is living on the hardest thing in the world.  I hope we chat soon and I believe your statement about time in heaven.  It's just hard on us stuck here..... prayers for you too... debbie

Hi Debbie,


I to am new to this group and like you I just lost my husband on Feb 16th we were together for 15yrs, he was my life and soulmate so I can understand your grief. I really hope that we both can find the outlet we need to deal with the pain of loss. If nothing else remember you are not alone!



me too Lynn.  I like the online chat in the evening.  it takes your mind off the negative for a little bit.  Maybe see you there.  Debbie
Hi Lyndsey.  I know what you are going through and your mom.  I am like you, I have to believe there will be a peace in all of this.  If you mom ever wants to talk I have found this site to be so helpful.  I like the online chat too.  My dad died 3-1/2 years ago and my husband was so like him in personality etc.  I still have some problems with it!  I am a firm believer that our loved ones are in a better place and we have to suffer.  Best of luck to you.  You sound so thoughtful of your mom so I know you will be a strength to her as you are grieving yourself.  Welcome to the group.... I hope you find it as beneficial as I have... hugs.... Debbie

Debbie....i am sorry for your loss. i am sure you are feeling like part of you is missing at times. And even though you know that  you will be reunited with him someday, that doesn't make your struggle here without him less important etc..Just know that there are people who understand and care. Life and you are never the same. When I lost my Mom, it changed something in me. No matter how you move forward, a part of you will never be replaced. I am mourning the loss of a friend this morning, not in physical death, but her pulling away from our friendship because she doesn't understand all I am going through and the discomfort it causes her around me is too much I guess. It never gets easier.


   Btw...any updates on Belle?  Please continue to share here. We are here for support


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