I don't know if I should say this considering my experience is a bit different. but I need to kind of talk about my feelings. I recently lost someone I cared much about. My guy friend That I wanted to meet from online. We would video chat and what not, He unexpectedly passed away.. He was 26 and had a aneurysm which caused a stroke.   It hurts quite a bit, especially since now well never experience the things we would talk about, that's the hard part to live with. I wish I had allowed to come over when he would ask. Now everything is gone. I sent a paper rose wreath I made to the funeral home for the memorial service. His mom has the wreath. I had to do something.

I found out some wonderful things about him and some sad things since his passing. The first days I cried like I never cried before. I couldn't keep food down and  didn't want to get up. I'm doing a bit better now. However, it's still difficult  to sleep at times and sometimes I feel like breaking down, but I don't want to cry anymore . Most days I still expect him to text me or call or even randomly bump into each other ironically, but that is wishful thinking. Sometimes I think i see small signs he is with me.  I see him in my dreams, or I see a random butterfly,(which is Ironic since I used to call him my social butterfly.) but then i  sigh and think again that it's wishful thinking. 

Who knew it would hurt so much losing someone from online.. 

Tags: butterfly, friend, grief, grieving, loss, loved, memorial, one, regrets, sadness

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so sorry i am iv met lodeds of grt pepl on hear if i losss thm i no it wud hurtt me it wud

Thank you for understanding 

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