lots of people live alone by choice but it seems to be getting worse especially in the mornings i feel so alone 

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Hi Patricia,

I find the mornings tough too. You wake up and remember yet again, that your loved is gone and it's not a nightmare. Well, it is a nightmare that you cannot wake up from. Are you able to take a walk in the morning, sometimes that helps. Or, exercise to raise your serotonin. I know that is the last thing I feel like doing, but if I can force myself, sometimes it helps for a little bit.

Thinking of you and wishing you peace and calm.

Valerie

Patricia,

I don't know anymore what is worse…morning, day or night.  I can have about an 18 hour stretch where I might be able to function like walking, eating, doing some errands, read and write, not cry, and generally not be so down.  Then no matter what,  something, anything will trigger the feelings of loss and down I go. Sometimes when I go down I am able to sort of recoup and get going again.  Today was much worse.  It's like someone just cut me off at the knees.  Crying out loud no matter where I am.  Unable to stop.  Then after I calm myself down I am so exhausted.  It happened twice today.  Both of them made me so depressed.  It's a weird depression though.  I am detached now after I cry.  It's like my mind has forgotten how hard i cried and I just want to curl up and quit it all as I don't feel like I live in the world anymore. I could just lay down and finish it all. This is so hard.   

yep i no fealng had few bad nites tos turng im scared 2 wak up as well as slpeep on off im fed up coz of 2 mush loss 

wot evrs go on in my hed its got me weid

Yes in full agreement Mornings are the worst for me too, not really depressed but moreless feel alone, or perhaps it's guilt that the people you love can't share the sunrise with you.
I hate mornings. I wake up knowing that my love is gone and I have to make it through another long day. I like the night because I have sleeping pills that let me sleep through most of the night. If it wasn't for the sleeping pills I don't think I would ever get any rest. It still takes all my strength to just get out bed in the morning. If I didn't have pets to take care of I don't think I would bother getting out of bed. I have wondered if I could just curl up on the floor and cry until I die. That's the way I feel but I make myself get up and take care of the pets and do the household chores. I told a friend that I've discovered that I can perform just about any task while crying my eyes out.

Patricia, you are so right. I wake up in the morning and the first 2 or 3 minutes things seem normal. And then...the truth hits me squarely in the heart and soul. Even though there are people here, I'm so alone. My husband and son have dealt with the passing of my son and are giving a very good impression of handling it all so well. So, even though I'm technically not alone, I am. Sending comforting hugs.

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