Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
iv had multi loss
moms got alz/dem
victm of crimee i a am bean thru a masvoee rocosr rideeu cud say but iv fond my slf goin 2 a spirtchlt church in 2018 i hav wish iv fond comfty i do
its givin me ansers u cud say
i no i did ths pots in 2014 i did i stoill get n mad it him/her on off i do
My heart goes out to you as my mother also had dementia and it was very sad to see her slipping thru my fingers. She forgot who we were and then worried when she didn’t see us.
I can understand being angry. We get angry when something as precious as our loved ones are gone and the roller coaster ride you spoke of never seems to stop, right?
Would you like to have some free reading material on how to cope with grief? I have been providing the link to others and in a variety of languages, even sign languages for those who are hearing impaired. It’s no problem and I’d be more than happy to send them to a private email.
Today, I hope you will have one day of calm.
thnxits ok we got matreall on it we did
dnt tell u evry thng but i no by seam it in moms nursin fasilty how bad it can get
wors bit is askin for dead peple wen thy goin 2 sea her
or evry 1 on tv i o thm thy bean 2 sea me thy live in my st thy do
Yes, I remember once my uncle went to visit my mom and she didn’t even realize it was her brother. When he left to go home, she asked who that man was.
I was terribly frightened of my mom being in a nursing facility after one of her heart attacks. I wanted to make sure they was taking good care of her. I know the nursing facilities are under staffed and over worked. I was spending most of my days there until she finished her rehabilitation and came back to our house.
I think the part about asking for dead people is like they have some memories from when they was healthier. My mom always talked about her parents and growing up on a farm. I just reminded her that she didn’t live on a farm anymore.
It’s difficult to know how to handle some situations.
iv bean to day to sea her iv hadto liee to her wish i feal bad
wen can i go homee wen drs says so
why am hear coz dr says so i anserd it for abot 40 mins i did
evry tim i leabee i feal dranedd i do
th 5 mons latr she figetss iv bean
grt news on 1 frnt iv bean goin to a spirtlst churchh sechin for ansrssa wish m getin thm i am
iv had a very loin ant cum thu a few tims evn moms mom a ganmothr iv not met wih i did tell mom but she foget 5 mins latr
pluss she hns my brth her on son is her brthr her brthr is in anthr nursingg fasilt coz of prksonss alz/dem 2
i no 2 wks go mum had a seazerr she did still dnt wot carzd it not suree if it wz dem/alz 1 but in hoptlee she wz evn moree confusd she wz it lst in nursin fasiltyy she duz no wear she is a bit pluss her littl creww she sitss withh evry day u cud say her lilttee gangg wishh is sad coz ivgot to no thm ladyss i hav
Awww- I’m sorry about that! It must make you feel really terrible that you can’t just take her home.
The same thing happened with my mom after her heart attack. She couldn’t just live by herself anymore. We had to empty her apartment and she came to live with me and my family. She kept wanting to go back to her apartment.
Like your mother, mine forgot as soon as I answered her.
I’m sorry your mother had a seizure. That must have been scary. My mom had mini strokes - It was very frightening to watch. The doctor said she would keep having them and I’m sure that made her memory worse.
Yes, in my mom’s nursing facility, there were ones we got to know better. There was a man who played the piano very well. He would play it in the evenings and we sat in the lobby and watched the birds.
Excuse me if I’ve forgotten, but do you live near your mom or do you have to travel far to see her? My mom was only a few miles away during the times she had to physical therapy and stay in the nursing facility.
its not to far so i do go reglr to sea her i dnt go evry day coz it onlyy confuzee her it duz
i no if shessats iv caleddin to seau othr day but u wear not in i go alingg on it coz i no its bst way
or wen can she go homee wen dr says so
wear dr on holday stuff i hav to do to keep her safee
cozi no lst yr befe mom had to go in to nursin hom i wz a victm of crimee i wz cud not thng stratee i cud not man it cond me new i wz dranedd ge dis did
bean few new pepleits in moms homee now so i havto look ort for esacppeess u cud 1 lady it 1st i thrt she wz a vistr till 1 of vistrss saed she livs in hear now
luckllyy itss all secrtt codedd it is
i no wen i get oldd or if pepplee i no 2o yrs latrr thy wil hav to usees keyss or passssso we cnt escappee
i no othr day she thrt her granson wz her son she thngs her son is her brthrr she duz
im dredin day wen she will not no me but i will go sea her i will i no its upsetin but mom nvt giv up onme ill not giv up on her u sea sum in nursin hom kids dumpp thm thr dnt go sea thm til its to latee its not if it wz not for vistrss it cums id be losst i wud so wud thy be we rely on ech orh we do
i no to day she ask for lucy cat i had to get pts in 2016
mom lucy died i hadto ge her put doon sleep i had to coz of orgn fallerr i nvr let her suffr i did not u cud say lucy wz reglr membr on hear divin on my keypadd she wz
Sorry that I’ve been away from the forum for a bit.
How are you today? I’m tired some. We have older friends that are moving and we did yard work for them so they can sell their house. It’s more work than I expected. Where I live it’s been so humid, it makes me sick sometimes. But it will help them get a decent price on their house I hope.
I see you live in the UK. Do you get a lot of rain? For us it changes constantly. This time of year it is usually very hot and humid. Not dry heat like some places. Several days last week it felt like Fall - chilly weather. That doesn’t usually happen here until the end of October. My health isn’t the best in heat or extreme cold.
I have to tell you something, but I don’t want to embarrass you. You remind me of my friends who speak Haitian Creole. I think it’s the way I imagine we would talk with each other in person. May I ask what is your native language please? I was trying to learn a form of Dutch for my ministry, but my brain doesn’t work properly. I can’t remember things and if I have nobody to practice with, I forget faster. I also tried sign language - but again, nobody to practice with and I forgot how to do it.
Regarding your mother, I know it can make things confusing if we tell them everything, like about having to have the cat put to sleep. Just please remember to take care of yourself too my friend. It gets exhausting being a caregiver, even if our loved ones are in a nursing facility. I had to take a mental break from thinking about it all. I worried so much about whether my mom was comfortable or not, or if she was eating well. I went early and stayed late. I made myself sick from not resting properly.
Yes, it is heartbreaking to see older persons whose family just cast them off without a care. Your mother sounds like a sweetheart and I know you must cherish her so much. I use to care for an older couple who had 3 adult children. Only one came around to care for their needs while the other 2 only wanted money. It was very sad to see how selfish they were.
I’m not sure how you feel about this but I have hope in the Bible and the promises that God will remove sickness, old age and death. He has set a day too restore health and happiness for all mankind who is deserving.
If you have a Bible, that scripture is Revelation 21:3,4 .
“With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: “Look! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his people. And God himself will be with them. And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”
It will be like God himself is living right among us humans. He not only wants us to be happy, but he has the power to do it. I keep,this close to my heart.
I know you said also that you are the victim of crime. I’m very sorry to hear that. It is not fair whatever happened to you. I have also been victimized by wickedness as a child. It is difficult to get passed this trauma sometimes. But again, I have to look at the Bible to see what God’s plan is for removing the evil in the world.
These verse give me some peace of mind.
Psalms 37:9-11 “For evil men will be done away with, But those hoping in Jehovah will possess the earth. Just a little while longer, and the wicked will be no more;You will look at where they were, And they will not be there. But the meek will possess the earth, And they will find exquisite delight in the abundance of peace.”
I just wanted to offer something positive today to help my friends on here. I hope you are having a good day and I looking forward to getting to know you better.
Sending hugs, Frances
Hi I to am MAD at God for taking my daughter, she was only 28 yrs old. I am also lost my Mom, Dad, Sister, Nephew and Aunts and Uncles to this horrible thing called CANCER. How can God allow something so EVIL to take the lives of his children ? Why did he allow her to get this awful disease and suffer for a year, why HER when there are so many evil people in this world that don't deserve to be alive. Why dont he take the bad ones and leave the good ones alone? I'm frustrated, I'm lost, I"m hurt.
so sorry i am
i hatee big c losss lot of famlyy i hav
iv saed wot u sad saidd abot bad 1s getin all illness thy dersve lk peadasoo it destryss kidss or killerss it kill for a thrill why not thm or why not usee thm to testt on for evill ilnesesss