Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I am new here. I lost my Mom on Valentines Day. There is a void in my life that I need to figure out how to fill. I have been her caregiver for the past 3 years and she has been the center point of my life. I feel a sense of freedom because I no longer have the constant worry, but I also feel lost and do not know what to do with my time.
I also cannot seem to leave her house and go back to living and sleeping at mine. I feel closer to her here and life seems more normal. So I go back and forth between our two houses, taking care of the pets at each one. Maybe this is because I need to give myself time to grief and adjust to the changes. Or maybe I just do not want to face that she is gone.
Take care too Raina. I am not having a good morning , so I am short on words. What I am hanging on to is the faith that I know it will get better and I will move on with my life. I just do not know when that will be. Maybe it will be tomorrow and maybe it will be in a month or so.
I have been a caregiver for a couple people. My Grandmother, and my Father in Law.
My Father in Law was the most demanding situation. He had Alzheimers.
It really was a 24/7 thing.
When he finally died I found myself missing the time I spent caring for him. I certainly didn't want him to continue suffering. It was very difficult to watch him suffering with such a terrible desease and his suffering was now over.
BUT, I MISSED taking care of him. It left a huge hole in my life and I still miss him. He died 17 years ago.
Some things that helped me....
I stay busy. I volunteer. I try really hard to think positive things. None of these things takes my pain away but it helps me move forward.
I also have faith in the Bible. Not everyone does. And that's ok, but it works for me.
It teaches me that my loved ones are just asleep right now, and that one day they will wake up and we will be together again. That HOPE sustains me. It doesn't fill the hole, but it helps me move forward.
I am so sorry for your loss. If there is anything that I can do to help you, please let me know.
First of all, I want to thank you for replying to my comments. I appreciate you sharing your experiences and how they parallel with mine. It does help me sort through what all I am grieving.
As the caregiver, a daughter, a sister and a nurse, I played many different roles during the years I cared for my Mom before her death. It is going to take some time for me to sort out all the different feelings.
Blue, I was my Mom's caregiver for 1 year and 4 months. I do not feel the emptiness after her death because God fills the void now. I so long for her at times, but I know where she is. I'm not trying to preach, but Jesus Christ was a LARGE part of my Mom's life. She was amazing. Never complained. She found peace no matter what was going on in her life. She taught me about Jesus Christ. If it hadn't been for Jesus Christ being in my heart when Mommy died, I would have probably gone insane without any hope in my life. No light. I feel your pain trust me, my mom was a part of my life fulltime since 2011 and before that. I always lived with my parents. I had work or something, but I always was around my Mom. Her loss has left a hole in my heart, but Jesus Christ is mercifully filling it. She had this smile on her face, blissful. She is happy where she is. My worrying and missing her until it leaves me miserable and without hope is just illogical to me.
What I am saying is this... I have no idea if you are religious. It is not about religion, its about knowing where your mom is and that she is safe. She is no longer suffering. Please consider if you are not a Christian, reading God's word. I promise you, I swear to you it will start to fill the gaps in your life. I've gone two weeks without my Mom. If it wasn't for her faith and her guidance while she was alive that lead me to God, I'd be living hopeless and so miserable. I don't feel lost because I have Jesus Christ to lead me down the path to proper grieving and healthy ways of thinking about stuff.
I really am sorry that you lost your mom. I feel you so much with this. I just know what has given me comfort.. my belief in Jesus Christ and knowing that no matter what I go through in my life, He is there. I was given mercy by God allowing me to be born to my mother. I was so lucky and fortunate.
Read Psalm 121 in the Bible. I promise it will explain a lot. I look to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip, he who watches over Israel never slumbers.. etc. It is so comforting to know that God watches over us and never sleeps, He never changes. He is consistent and will never disappoint. Praise Him that I have this outlook after my Mom's passing to Him.
I'll pray for you Blue. My Mom died on Feb 25, 2017. We buried her March 1. She has not been gone long at all, but I have solace and peace. God bless you so much.