Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I am experiencing I guess what is called "pathological grief", aside from PTSD, my nephew's suicide has literally ruined my life. I lost my home, my job and many friends because of PTSD and chronic guilt. I have been through so many therapists and I leave them eventually. Anyone else out there experiencing the same?
I don't know how many therapists you have been through and how many "so many" are. I am currently on my 7th. Out of the 6 prior only 2 were ones that I left - the rest "left" me. My allotted time frame was up, they retired, or changed jobs. One thing I have found that may be helpful is of the ones that worked it seemed there were two types. Ones that were good emotionally but not intellectually while others were the reverse. For example, one was really good at listening to me cry but couldn't tell me shit of anything helpful while another was the reverse. At the time of these different scenarios it was okay. I was so desperate I took whatever I could get. With this last switch, and for the first time, I had a choice and first met once with both therapists before deciding. I found the same thing - one I felt would be very good emotionally and the other intellectually. It was tough to decide but I was able to feel for myself which angle I needed more of and went with that therapist. It worked out well and I got a very good one this time. But my point is, if you are able to pinpoint what aspect you feel is more critical at this moment maybe that could help steer you to a better fit.
I guess my question would be why eventually you leave. What need are they not fulfilling?
I think I find myself disconnected I guess. a few of them told me they couldn't relate to my situation. one even told me I had to go see someone who could handle my issues with flashbacks and seeing things and what not, I suppose I feel like I'm alone. the event itself has made me feel like an outsider from others. I relate slightly to someone if they have also been through a similar experience. I certainly don't expect every therapist/psychiatrist to have found a loved one who has blown their head off as well of course and had to have been left to completely deal with it. or to know what it might be like to wake up everyday feeling as if its my fault. some days I can let it go. other days its all I think about. you are so right about the two kinds of therapists. I completely run from them and drop them like a good boyfriend lol. its all me. I don't think its because they aren't fulfilling my needs I think its because I don't think I deserve to be helped maybe. I know that sounds completely disturbing..... but wondering if anyone else who has gone through this has those feelings also?