My mom died almost a year ago come feb. I'm just wondering if it's normal to feel this sad? Somedays I can't even get out of bed because I miss her so much. I dream about her almost every night. Most of the time she wakes up in her coffin and the whole crowd is astonished and the media won't leave us alone, because it's a miracle. I just want to talk to her again. I was only 18 when she passed, and hadn't even graduated yet. Sometimes I see pictures of her and I cry for two seconds and then it's like I force myself into shut off mode. Sometimes I wish that I could just talk to her one last time, before she was on the moriphine to kill the pain from the cancer. Sometimes I swear she is going to come walking through the door, sometimes I think I'll even wake up in my old house (I had to move in with my oldest sister cause my dad isn't in the picture.) I feel like I died inside with her, and that I will never wake up from the terrible dream like state im in. im just wondering if it's normal to be this sad or if I'm just going crazy.

Views: 276

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Hi Bri.

Yes it is normal to have all the feeling that you described. You sound like you loved your mom a lot. So it only natural to feel the pain of being separated from someone you loved so much. Have dreams about them. Cry when you see a certain thing that suddenly brings memories. Anger, fear, body aches and pains. I also have had all of this. Have talked to many others that have too.  I am a good deal older than you. My mom died in July and it has been so hard. My wife also died about 2 years ago. Like your mom, she had cancer. Was on morphine the last days of her life. I miss both of them terrible. There are days when I have to force myself to go on, doing what I have to do. Even though I am having a really bad day struggling with everything that's going on in my mind. This is what we have to do though. I would like to see you surround your self with people that care about you. Church, family, friends. You didn't say if you work or are in school. But try and find things to do. Even though you might not want to. I will keep you in my prayers. 

My mom passed 3 1\2 years ago and I still struggle. Its been worse recently because she was my go to person during hard times in my life. I cant say it ever goes away although some days I wish it would just disappear, all the pain and sadness. I too feel like she could walk through the door at any moment. Just know your not alone in the world losing your mom is one of the hardest things to face and the younger you are the harder it is.

yes it is norml 2 be so sad

othr day i got askt why dnt i smile all i no i miss my dad so mush rvm loss on aftr him i miss thm 2

tears in my eyes is so full of tears 

I am so sorry you lost your mom when you and her are both so young. I lost my mother 2 years ago and we were not nearly as young but I assure you the heartache you feel is the same as I feel. You need to choose your friends wisely and seek help at school or church for support since dad is not available. My father died 2 weeks before my 11th birthday so my mother was my rock. I had really good support from my grandparents. I hope that you do too. I wanted to crawl into the casket with my mother and still wish that I had, but I also know she would want me to go on and find my way. Yes I understand not wanting to get out of bed and go on. It will be 2 years very soon. We will always be mamas little girl no matter how old we are. I hope your "dad" and grandparents help you like mine did. Best wishes.

Those feelings are normal, and you are not crazy. My husband died over two years ago, and I cry constantly, am sad and angry constantly, still feel very much as I did when he first died. For me, that will never change. For you, I hope you are able to find some peace and feel a bit better. I know you will never stop loving your mom and that you will never forget her, but as you continue with your life (go to college, fall in love, start your career), that might help.

Bri, I am going to be blunt with you. 

It is okay to be sad.

Today I lost my mother, and I can't even explain to you what I too am feeling. I'm almost numb. Shocked I guess. But I tell you what, I am 21 years old, and I too haven't graduated yet, and I wish a miracle would happen and I am going to be wishing that miracle would happen every damn day for the rest of my life, but its not going to, and that's why people like me and you have to be strong in order to make it each day. Your mother is there, her physical body may not be, but she is. That weird feeling you get like shes around, its her, and that hole in your heart, yeah that's real too. But despite that, shes with you, everyday. Just know that. And know its okay to be sad, that why we have emotions. You aren't going crazy.

Youre only human. 


Latest Activity

Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Different today. Hurts as usual, but not like yesterday. My stress goes through the roof at the slightest change in routine. I have to break free of the pattern, the ritual, of Friday nights and Saturdays. My mother died on a Friday. But I cannot…"
8 hours ago
Profile IconJeremico Cooper, Heather and Julia Metcalfe joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
16 hours ago
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Today, I feel it. It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April. I am overwhelmed. I am crushed. I love you, Mom. I…"
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died. For some reason, I do not feel crushed today. But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
Carla is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Yes, it is much harder for me to concentrate or focus now.  Grief, sadness, anger, despair -- they have all conspired to make it difficult for me to access my intelligence to the same degree as before my husband died.  That is, my…"
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, I am glad that you took that the right way.  I had a feeling you would know what I meant.  And your description is correct:  I have a general idea of how you feel but it's impossible for me or anyone else to know…"
Luna Nightshade replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I guess I can emphasize with the things you loved to do dying with the one you loved - as if that feeling has been pulled along, stretched thin to behind the veil. You don't have the energy to pursue them anymore, and just having something that…"

© 2020   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service