That is how I feel today like I am living in a nightmare only I can't be woken from it because it is my life now, my husband is gone and I am empty and lonely, I keep seeing him in my head, talking to him in my head, trying to hear his voice in my head but it is mine saying his words. I keep replaying the ambulance people telling me "I am sorry" I hate those words now I have no desire to do nothing but think of him, I feel so alone, today was definitely and angry do so far only morning tears but night still has to come, I treated him so bad, never appreciated him because I always had to be right when it came to working, bills money, he had bipolar and had had such a hard life, he tried, and he loved me with all his heart I had turned so stressed that was changing as a person,now I sit with regret that eats away at me crying to his picture and to the sky how sorry I am and how I truly loved him praying sees my tears and forgives me, he was a good man, and boy was he funny he could make you laugh he loved rock and roll but he loved Creed,nickleback,shinedown three doors down they all told his story, a lost soul, I know people say it gets easier,don't beat yourself up, but sometimes I think this nightmare is deserved I am only 46 and have alot of years to go if it is in my future without my only love I do ever see being happy again. He was my life my family did not accept him so I stopped talking to them it has been me, him and the kids, now it is me and my emptiness facing the world, I don't know how to do this alone, I can't I need to wake from this nightmare

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yea me u 2 coz nw iv it nite day u cud say ok dad died diedd ij 2012 thn multii loss nw in 202216 my mums gt demsa u cud say im livi nit mre  of hell u cud say im yelin but dream catchr cnt hear e sorry 2 hear abot yore loss 2 my maners of gon sorry 2 hear yore loss 2im so scred up u cud say

Oh Robin I wish it ends but it doesn't. It gets worse. He will come to u in ways u know it's Him but I can't say that makes it better. I love u and know that suffering is growth in this human experience.

Robin,,

I am so sorry for all that you are going through. There is really nothing that can be said to take your anguish and pain away.

The link below does give us food for thought. It reassures us that our feelings are normal. We are also offered some comfort. (It won't take the pain away)

Dealing With Your Grief

I wish I could help more. All I can do is share things that comfort me. I hope for you some relief and comfort.

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Nancy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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