My boyfriend died 4 months ago. He was the most incredible person I have ever met. I'm biased, obviously, but many people said the same thing. He had a way of making every person feel special, important, interesting and happy. When he walked into a room, he filled the room with light and laughter. He had the most amazing smile and I can't breathe thinking I will never see that smile again. he was also loyal with a huge heart, for the people he loved he would moved the world. And though he was not perfect, he made my world beautiful and I was so blessed to have him. We only had 2 years together and I feel like we were cheated of the rest of our lives. Not only us, but he was cheated of his whole life, he had so so much to offer and he was always just excited to live. He was only 24. I just miss him so much and I feel like I'm drowning. Although everybody thinks I am doing 'much better' I feel like I'm walking around missing an arm or a leg. I'm going through the motions but I'm just not really there

I hope that in time the pain will ease. I just wanted to write down my feelings and try to express them to you, because I'm finding it hard to explain to anybody else. I am just reaching out for some reassurance and I wanted to tell some people what an amazing person he was

Views: 98

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I just feel so lost, can anybody help?
Hi Charlotte, I'm so sorry for your loss and believe me I know your pain. I can't offer much support as I'm going through the same, my partne died suddenly 7 weeks ago today. Like you just keeping breathing is a challenge enough. Carrying on as normal is way beyond me. Don't try to put on an act, people shouldn't expect you to be doing well. Just do only what you can cope with doing.
I only do what I have to, I only work to pay bills and feed animals, if I don't want to go out, I don't.
Just be kind to yourself, we got to get through this the best we can, we have to be grateful that we loved and were loved by such wonderful people. Some people live there whole lives and never have that. Keep writing on here, I find it helps as everyone understands hugs to you x
Thank you Jackie. I'm so sorry that you are feeling this pain as well. I try to remind myself every day that I was blessed to know and love him


I can't really offer any advice or help, because I feel much the same way about my husband as you do about your boyfriend, and like you I am not really here, and my husband died nearly 5 years ago.  I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in feeling as you do.

Charlotte, even though you may not hear back from all members here, it's a very special place. Because we WANT to hear what an amazing person your boyfriend was, we have walked this long, lonely mile before you and we know how you are feeling in a way that nobody else can unless they, too, have walked it. Your boyfriend was your center of life, and how do we ever get over that? We don't.

I lost the finest man ever born 3years and 7months ago. We were married within 3 months of knowing each other and spent 20 years together, inseparable. And now? He died suddenly of a drop-dead heart attack in front of me, and I held him and watched him die. It's taken 3years/7months to go from the worst thing that ever happened to me in my life, untold sorrow, to it is now the best thing I have, because he was all mine and I have 20 years of memories of growing in love with him, and him with me. Love from AnneJ.


Latest Activity

Linda Engberg replied to Linda Engberg's discussion No one cares after spouses death.
"That was beautifully said Jon-Paull"
6 hours ago
Dennis C. replied to Trina H's discussion Coping with the death of my baby girl
"Her is an interesting resource. (just click or tap on the link) It discusses the Bibles view of Death. Why we die, but especially the hope that the Bible gives us about the future. I hope it helps with some hope and comfort. When a Loved One Dies"
7 hours ago
Jon-Paul Ackerman replied to trav's discussion Death of a soulmate(spouse) : Single, Suicide or moving on in life?
"Haha Trav, She won't let you lol. I've tried. They want Us to fulfill this life before chasing them to the next. I suggest cactus treatment. Maybe even microdosing psilocybin for the reoccurring pain that will never go away. You'll…"
15 hours ago
Jon-Paul Ackerman replied to Linda Engberg's discussion No one cares after spouses death.
"No. Nobody cares. We have nobody. All we have is Our decisions. The One we love most never leaves Us. We have become One. Is the beauty of true marriage. Not even death can do Us part."
16 hours ago
Richard Rivera added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...


Annette's been dead just under eight months. My grieving hasn't stopped. I try but I keep getting worse mentally and physically. My groin has swollen more and now due to the fluid build its reaching past my knees. Grotesque doesn't come close to the sight of my misshapen body. I am a freak who is stared at whenever I manage to find the slight strength to go out. So it got me to thinking. As homely as I am, as disgusting as I have become, I remember those three words my wife and I lived with…See More
16 hours ago
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hearing about people's cats makes me want to say the name of our dear little cat Spooky. She was one of those sweet cats that wait for you at the door, recognize the sound of your car approaching, and come when you of course we were…"
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Irina, I have over 20 diferent types of shirts with missing my Husband quotes They show the different ones on the advertisments on Facebook Linda"
Mike H. posted a blog post

Mankind’s Fight Against Mortality

NOTE: My blogs are not posted with the intention of promoting any organization or religion. The goal of these blogs are to provide the same comfort I received for the death of a loved one. Enjoy.Death is a fearsome enemy. We fight it with all our might. We may try to deny it when it strikes someone dear to us. Or, in the exuberance of youth, we may imagine that the enemy will never come to claim us—a delusion we cling to as long as we can.Few thought more about immortality than the ancient…See More
Mike H. updated their profile
irina s joined kimberly rowe's group

mY sOuLmAtE, mY bEsTfRiEnD,mY sUpErMaN,mY eVeRyThInG

this is ment for the people who have lost the closest thing to them it doesnt matter if its a person or an animal it's stilla lost and they all hurt
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have been so lonely the past two days.   Have no desire to do anything right now.  Spent some time out in my garden, but that didn't help too much...just got a call from my son.  Said he'll be back soon (30 minutes).…"
Pearl Irene replied to Karen's discussion Please share your Story = the Loss of your Son or Daughter in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
"I lost my son Dalton, June 16, 2017. He was riding his Motorcycle, lost control and hit a concrete light pole. He died instantly. He was quite a character, one of a kind. He was the warrior for the underdog, a sponge for any type of knowledge…"
Pearl Irene joined Karen's group

Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
Pearl Irene replied to jordan's discussion I don't no what to do anymore
"Jordan, there are some churches that have grief meetings. I have been considering it, but I thought I would wait a while. My grief is very new since my son died last month. This is something you have been carrying for years. The memory box from your…"
Lost with out him posted a status
"I am now suffering PTSD about the actual "death". I cannot get that vision out of my head. I tried to save him.."
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, I understand.  Aside from Summer and Benny, I still get sad about the loss of our dog Sandy, who we had when I was a kid and through my college years.  She died when I was in college, and I still love and miss her.  I don't…"
Profile IconBri, deena nygaard, Anne MacGregor and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
KIM Montgomery commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Cancer sucks.  My husband didn't even last 6 months."
KIM Montgomery joined Katherine Ellis's group

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
joanne posted a blog post

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service