I lost my daddy to suicide. - Online Grief Support - A Social Community2024-03-29T10:49:34Zhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/forum/topics/i-lost-my-daddy-to-suicide?commentId=2054931%3AComment%3A313872&xg_source=activity&feed=yes&xn_auth=noI’m so sorry Ashley, your sit…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2017-10-16:2054931:Comment:3138722017-10-16T14:53:43.452ZLouisehttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/Louise716
I’m so sorry Ashley, your situation sounds truly horrendous, life seems so unfair. My husband died from suicide on 29/30 September 2016; I have the uncertainty because he disappeared for a night and wasn’t found until the next day, so I’ll never really know when he died. I feel so much anger and guilt, I cry every day, the world seems empty, tainted almost, and I feel like I’m just existing most days. I think any loss is devastating, but it is particularly difficult to cope with when the person…
I’m so sorry Ashley, your situation sounds truly horrendous, life seems so unfair. My husband died from suicide on 29/30 September 2016; I have the uncertainty because he disappeared for a night and wasn’t found until the next day, so I’ll never really know when he died. I feel so much anger and guilt, I cry every day, the world seems empty, tainted almost, and I feel like I’m just existing most days. I think any loss is devastating, but it is particularly difficult to cope with when the person you love did it to themselves. It is like a nightmare you can’t wake up from. I can tell you a year on that I have learnt to cope with things a bit better, but it still hurts, I don’t think that will ever go away. I try to keep myself busy, days are divided up into sections and I plan what I will do in each one. That seems to help a bit, but I think one of the most important things to do and what I have really struggled with is giving myself permission to feel whatever I need to and telling myself again and again that it is ok to feel a particular way. I think part of you wants to rush through it, to feel better and it’s hard to accept that it takes time. It’s hard for me to accept it, I just want it to be over and to feel better, but I don’t think it works that way. I don’t know if that helps. Wishing you strength and hope you find some peace. I really don't know what to s…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2017-10-16:2054931:Comment:3139712017-10-16T01:07:17.259Zmorganhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/mmorgan
<p>I really don't know what to say Ashley. I'm so sorry. There is some kind of weirdness in this universe that seems to have its way with us when we are not at all prepared for how to handle it. Death by any means is hard to reconcile but your father seems to have had a hard time finding a way to go without a lot of pain (for everyone). </p>
<p>When we have to face the aftermath we question everything that went on before. The whys are the biggest unanswered tortured part of our souls.…</p>
<p>I really don't know what to say Ashley. I'm so sorry. There is some kind of weirdness in this universe that seems to have its way with us when we are not at all prepared for how to handle it. Death by any means is hard to reconcile but your father seems to have had a hard time finding a way to go without a lot of pain (for everyone). </p>
<p>When we have to face the aftermath we question everything that went on before. The whys are the biggest unanswered tortured part of our souls. Before death we don't seem to have the same questions. We look at life as a challenge that we manage. But so many things are really unmanageable. Your father sounds as though his mind ran away and as his daughter you wanted to help him find it. No reasons are given why we don't always succeed. </p>
<p>I think crying is the bodys natural mechanism to release us from insufferable pain. Our minds try to make sense of something that we cant and if held in will make us crazy. Crying for me is cathartic but I have suffered from the crying although I still prefer it over the reverse. </p>
<p>Does it get better? Hard to answer if I would call it better but it does change. After the shock wears down some you will look at things through a different lens. How and what else we have in our lives will effect our understanding but we are all forever changed.</p>
<p>Your father was suffering and you may be asking the same question he asked himself. Our hope here on this site is we try to do what we can to support each other because we all feel the pain. May you find some moments where you can try to understand that we aren't meant to understand it all. </p>