I give up so much , I lost my dad at the age of 9 to a car crash, it's been 9 years and I haven't opened up to anyone properly about it. I have a memory box my mum made with his watch and dad ring I got him that was was taken off his body when he died. I cry my eyes out every time looking at the stuff , I cry so much I struggle to breath , I lie in bed every night crying my eyes out cause I miss him so much and don't no what to do. I never get asked how I am or if I'm okay because I'm always smiling , always called the smiler in work and customers even say I'm always smiling.. I only smile to hide the pain of missing him so much, I feel useless , unwanted, fat , ugly and annoying... I can't do this , in the past I have self harmed a little and I'm scared incase I go back to doing it. I'm scared that because I'm so upset now at this age it's going to get worse and I end up doing something I regret. Every years getting harder , I still struggle to believe he's dead, it feels like he's alive but just not near me. I feel stupid and childish for always being so upset
Jordan, there are some churches that have grief meetings. I have been considering it, but I thought I would wait a while. My grief is very new since my son died last month. This is something you have been carrying for years. The memory box from your mother sounds like a very thoughtful idea. I may do that for my other children. They are all adults, but would appreciate it. So sorry for your loss, I adore my father and would be lost without him. Even joining a church would at least provide you some companionship. Please don't self harm. Praying for healing.
"Really missing my mom right now :/ she was the only one in my fd up family. And what hurts even more was I only really knew her for two weeks before she died cuz I got taken from her when I wasnt even two years old and when I turned 18 and had the…"
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