I would like to know if I am the only one on this site who uses alcoholic to cope with spouse's death.

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yes 

belve me its not ansres its not 

Jo, You are right, it just makes you feel worse.

I don't Linda, but sometimes I wish I did.  I was never a big drinker (glass of wine) until hot flashes in my 50's got so bad I quit the wine,  thinking it would help.  Just never went back.  That was before the death of my husband.  

I think the crying is my chosen relief valve.  Although that has wreaked havoc on my body and I guess I'm thinking better that so I die quicker.  Lately I've been getting some freaky heart palpitations periodically that I've never felt before so I guess I keep hoping that the normal grief without using anything will do me in.  

Morgan,

Thanks for your thoughts, I keep trying different things. I am trying meditation and I joined a group called Center for Spiritual Living, it has really help me cope with everyday life.

I haven't, but that's not from any moral high ground or anything, it's just because I don't much like alcohol. 

I do have to take a couple of Benadryl every night in order to sleep, though, and have done every night since my husband died (except for the first couple of weeks after he died, and on the really bad nights since, when I have to take sleeping pills instead).

No, you're not the only one. I drink every day to numb it. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it makes things worse. I only wish I didn't drink as much as I do because of all of the calories lol. If it kills me, that'd be great. I just don't want to get fat haha. I don't drink irresponsibly like during the day at work or if I have to drive or anything like that. But, if I'm at home and I start to get really sad I think "oh! I'll have a cocktail!" and one turns to two or three...

JenShep,

I only have a glass of wine when my grief feels like it is going to sallow me up.

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