So tomorrow is Easter and it will be the first holiday without my mom. I really do not know how I am going to handle it if it were not for my four girls I would probably just try and sleep the whole day since Im not sleeping at night time anyway. I honestly feel like I am losing my mind I find myself wanting to end my own life and then realizing what I am doing or thinking and I just start to cry and ask myself wth is wrong with me. I always knew this would be hard I just never thought it would be this hard and instead of the days getting easier it seems like they get harder and harder. I pray for comfort and healing all the time and I know somehow this has to get easier but my heart hurts so much that I am completely a loss person right now can anyone help to cope or understand these feelings.

Thanks Erica

Views: 105

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Erica, I understand your feelings - this holiday has been harder for me, without Hollister, than I thought it would be. My mind went to what we would have been doing if he were here. I've tried to keep in mind what Easter means - the promise it holds for where my love is now - and find I'm not comforted. Honestly, I'd have to say I'm feeling sorry for myself because I can't have him in my life. I know he's in a much better place.

Still, I'm not facing the same issues as you are and I'm concerned about you. You sound fragile, emotionally, and I wonder if it's time to talk to a professional to see what kind of help you can get. No, I'm not saying you're nuts or abnormal - I'm sure that's not the case. You're seeking help here, so I'd say you're not 'off your rocker.' From what you've described, I wonder if it's time to try an antidepressant to help you cope. A professional could answer that question. 

Remember that your children feel the same way about you as you do about your mother. Reach out for some help so you can be the mother they need right now. My prayers are with you.

Kathy my mind did the same thing I just kept wondering what my mom would be doing I even back home and to visit her for the first time since the funeral which was very hard I still feel like im in denial. By the end of the night I was a big mess and I honestly think I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown it got pretty scary for me my kids and husband and with all that happening I did take the next step and call and made an appt with a therapist which that made a big difference these last 3 days. I go back to see the therapist on Tuesday and Ive been praying that things will get a little easier I even started writing in a Journal which also seems to be helping. Well I just wanted to say thank you for your prayers 

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

Wander replied to maryanne reel's discussion He is gone and I cant get him back in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Oh, Maryanne. I'm so, so sorry. I wish words could make it better... I can tell you, 19 weeks after my precious husband and soulmate left us suddenly and unexpectedly, that there are no words to fix it. I know what you mean about not being able…"
15 minutes ago
anne commented on Zell's blog post I'm moving closer to you
"Dear Zell, this is so true. It took me a very long time to come back to God, but when I finally did I realized that I needed to walk away from Him to figure out how much He loves me, and how much I need Him. Thank you for your support. I have read…"
2 hours ago
JO B alexio commented on JO B alexio's group dreams
" "
5 hours ago
JO B alexio replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"i h a t e death its giv me so mush pain it hda jean dad died multi loss on top u get silly q dos it hrt 2 lose any 1 im lk 2 mush it hrts"
5 hours ago
Zell posted blog posts
8 hours ago
Linda commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"yes, thank you Lynn."
10 hours ago
Teresa D. commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Well put Lynn "
10 hours ago
Lynn Williams commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Dear Rachel & Chelle, Crying and ranting is one of the best things you can do. In the beginning I never stopped crying or screaming in the car, pulled over on the side of the road. It has been 12 months for me now and I still can't listen…"
10 hours ago
bluebird replied to Stargazer's discussion How can I become whole?
"I am in all of the first four stages, and always will be. For me, there will NEVER be "acceptance"or "hope" -- life is hell, withoit my husband, and it always will be. Period."
10 hours ago
bluebird replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"Well, first of all i am a woman, not a man, lol.... But as to the substance of your statement -- i don't fear death, i want my own to come as soon as possible, so that i will be with my husband (if there is an afterlife), or at least will be…"
10 hours ago
kim posted a blog post

alone today

today my husband went to help a friend at 3 this morning, being all alone hurts. I cryed all morning, then I went to see my son, talking to him and crying my heart out I feel hes there hearing what im saying. I water his floers and wipe off his stone, like I do everyday. how can my heart keep breaking, I know theres nothing left. I see people that look like him and it takes everything I have not to run and hug them, instead I just cry. the phone never rings any more, friends never come over,…See More
10 hours ago
Jean is now friends with JO B alexio and Brenda Ann
10 hours ago
Jean replied to Stargazer's discussion How can I become whole?
"7 STAGE OF GRIEF THROUGH THE PROCESS AND BACK TO LIFE Once again, it is important to interpret the stages loosely, and expect much individual variation. There is no neat progression from one stage to the next. In reality, there is much looping…"
10 hours ago
Jean replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"To fear death gentlemen, is to think oneself wise when one is not; to think one knows what one does not know. For no one know if death may not be the greatest of all gifts for a human being, yet we fear it as if it were the worst of all evils.""
10 hours ago
Chelle commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"What is silly behavior? I was driving home yesterday and thinking about how helpless I feel, so I got my empty water bottle and started beating the dash. The guy in the truck next to me probably thought I was a royal nut, but I couldn't care…"
11 hours ago
Zell replied to JO B alexio's discussion mad at god
"God does not test us in this way.  That is a lie! Ignore anyone who tells you that your are being tested..."
11 hours ago
Stargazer replied to Stargazer's discussion How can I become whole?
"Ladies, thank you for your replies and for telling me that I am not alone.  It seems there is no answer because we all feel that hollow emptiness of anything we may achieve in the future.  My qualification did served a purpose while I was…"
11 hours ago
Chelle posted a status
"Got the best gift yesterday, had an old tape converted to DVD, was taken back in '99-'01, so precious, wish I could share, you would smile."
12 hours ago
Rhona Clyne posted a status
"Mum...it's 2/8...and a year ago...7 days left with you...x"
13 hours ago
Rhona Clyne posted photos
13 hours ago

© 2014   Created by Diana Y.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service