So tomorrow is Easter and it will be the first holiday without my mom. I really do not know how I am going to handle it if it were not for my four girls I would probably just try and sleep the whole day since Im not sleeping at night time anyway. I honestly feel like I am losing my mind I find myself wanting to end my own life and then realizing what I am doing or thinking and I just start to cry and ask myself wth is wrong with me. I always knew this would be hard I just never thought it would be this hard and instead of the days getting easier it seems like they get harder and harder. I pray for comfort and healing all the time and I know somehow this has to get easier but my heart hurts so much that I am completely a loss person right now can anyone help to cope or understand these feelings.

Thanks Erica

Views: 128

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Erica, I understand your feelings - this holiday has been harder for me, without Hollister, than I thought it would be. My mind went to what we would have been doing if he were here. I've tried to keep in mind what Easter means - the promise it holds for where my love is now - and find I'm not comforted. Honestly, I'd have to say I'm feeling sorry for myself because I can't have him in my life. I know he's in a much better place.

Still, I'm not facing the same issues as you are and I'm concerned about you. You sound fragile, emotionally, and I wonder if it's time to talk to a professional to see what kind of help you can get. No, I'm not saying you're nuts or abnormal - I'm sure that's not the case. You're seeking help here, so I'd say you're not 'off your rocker.' From what you've described, I wonder if it's time to try an antidepressant to help you cope. A professional could answer that question. 

Remember that your children feel the same way about you as you do about your mother. Reach out for some help so you can be the mother they need right now. My prayers are with you.

Kathy my mind did the same thing I just kept wondering what my mom would be doing I even back home and to visit her for the first time since the funeral which was very hard I still feel like im in denial. By the end of the night I was a big mess and I honestly think I was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown it got pretty scary for me my kids and husband and with all that happening I did take the next step and call and made an appt with a therapist which that made a big difference these last 3 days. I go back to see the therapist on Tuesday and Ive been praying that things will get a little easier I even started writing in a Journal which also seems to be helping. Well I just wanted to say thank you for your prayers 

RSS

Latest Activity

Robin commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I lost my husband two weeks ago, I keep replaying the day in my head, those life changing words of the paramedics coming out of my house saying mam I am sorry it will forever haunt me, I got up that morning and went to work he was sitting on the…"
1 hour ago
Robin joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
1 hour ago
Kathryn Mackey posted a status
"It has been hard lossing your baby sister"
2 hours ago
Connie joined Jennifer L Gebhardt's group
Thumbnail

caregiver

I was a caregiver to my mom for just over 4 years. She moved in with me after finding out she had breast cancer. I went to every single Dr appointment with her, every chemo, radiation and to her head shaving. I have 3 sister's and 1 brother but they didn't do anything to help. I felt so alone during the last few months of my mother's life that it's hard not to be angry at my siblings for not helping more. I look in every room of my home and see mom everywhere. I feel lost without her here. See More
3 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lisa it will be 6 months for me in June, I do the same as you, I know she is very close and listening. Sometimes when I sit and think about not having her for the rest of my life I cry.  Then I say to myself, she is at peace, nothing hurts…"
3 hours ago
Charlie updated their profile
9 hours ago
Stephen M. Feldman updated their profile
9 hours ago
Profile IconRobin, Angel, Barbara York and 43 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
10 hours ago
Carol Peckham Taylor commented on Diana Y's blog post After Death Communication
"I fell the presence of Mom and Marianne constantly. I also feel my Father's presence. too. I only have the feeling, not anything outrightly physical. "
10 hours ago
Carol Peckham Taylor posted a status
"Memorial Day 2016. Remember Mom and Dad."
10 hours ago
Carol Peckham Taylor posted photos
10 hours ago
Julie M left a comment for Lisa Green
"Hi Lisa. First time on this site, hope I'm doing this right. I'm also a married mother; I have 2 sons. My mom died on September 25, 2015. She was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer on September 14, and died in the hospital 11 days…"
15 hours ago
stewart p replied to Deborah Bailey's discussion Can any one help in the group Lost My Spouse...
"time spent on thinking about would of, should of or could of is time wasted indeed though i did it for a while myself until I read somewhere on one of these forums a host who addressed the should of, would of could of.  The thing he said and I…"
yesterday
rachel_m posted a video

Talking To The Moon - Bruno Mars Lyrics

Talking To The Moon - Bruno Mars Lyrics **** Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. All rights are property of the proper music corp/artist. **** Ly...
yesterday
Cheryl posted a video

Colette & Clifton-Dancing In The Sky (Cover)

Colette-"My dad always wanted me to sing more, and I regret never doing this before now. This song reminded me so much of him.. he loved dancing and music so...
yesterday
Jan replied to Deborah Bailey's discussion Can any one help in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Brilliant, thank you!"
yesterday
Jan joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
yesterday
Tildyc commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"As always Bluebird- I am in complete agreement with you. Life is such a collassal burden now. I am not as active on here as I once was- I suppose my reason is that nothing has and never will change for me. He will never come back. I am alone in…"
yesterday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I still hope that my husband's death will kill me, even if only indirectly. His death has made me not take care of myself (I eat poorly and first lost weight, then gained a lot of weight, I don't exercise at all, I don't sleep…"
yesterday
JO B commented on David H's blog post 35 years
"cats is grt david thy r thy dnt hav a go it us we we morn loss we v had or multi loss in my cas u cud say  "
yesterday

© 2016   Created by Diana Y.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service