I just got my husband's remains from the funeral home.  Now all that's left of him is sitting there on the fireplace in a simple box.  I feel like I'm going through slow torture and I just wish God would take me too so that I could be with him again.  I miss him so much.  Most times I just don't want to go on without him but I try because I know he would want me to live and be happy.  I don't see ever being happy again.  I don't see ever being with someone else or sharing my life with someone.  We were perfect together and even if he's gone he's my husband and always will be.  I know I'll be alone for the rest of my life, I just hope that it's not too much longer. I don't know how to go on without him. 

Views: 446

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Hi justkate,

I am sorry you are in the dumps, my dog just threw up today too!  Maybe they are feeling our sadness.  We have to be strong for them!  Some people are callous about grief or is that strength of character, I don't know.  Life never seems to turn out the way we want but we have to ride it, roll with it and try to make it interesting.  xo

Hi Debra,

My husband died of liver cancer too, diagnosed 4/20/11, gone 6/6/11.  Not much time but am glad we had time to say goodbye.  In those 6 weeks, I felt we fell in love all over again; everything we ever first felt for each other grew even greater during those last weeks.  I hope you enjoy a little country humor my neighbor told me that was told to her when her husband passed;  A young man sat down at a bar next to an old man.  He said his wife was visiting his mother for the weekend and he was all alone.  He asked the old man if he had a wife and he said he was widowed and then told him, "Ya see, you're not really alone till its etched in stone."  Ain't that the truth!

I chuckled at your joke! I recently adopted one of Bob's mom's expressions "Ain't that the truth?!" so I got a kick out of that, too :-) I see on your Page that you had Hospice for him. Same here, I stayed by his side every minute that I was able. That means you saw all the weird, scary stuff that his body experienced and I'm so sorry that you, too, went through that. Given the situation, though, if I had it to do over, I wouldn't change a thing! Special hugs to you and we will get stronger in their honor.

Hi justkate - read this reply and liked it a lot.  I think it's so incredibly important to know that our late loved ones would want us to move forward, to get on with our lives and to not get stuck in the grief and the sadness.  That's something I remind myself of constantly.  Of course we're sad and of course we miss them and we will, most certainly, go through our grief and mourning - that's normal and to be expected - but we can grieve and live at the same time.  Yes, it's hard...yes, it hurts...but I well know that my husband would not want to think of me as being miserable and sad for the rest of my life.  For me, living my life as best I can and as positively as possible is the best way of honoring him and honoring all of our wonderful years together.  I want my life to be a testament to the relationship that we had and to all the wonderful years that we shared.   Wishing you all the best.  Lynne

Joanne, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, I have lost many loved ones but most recently my son, Zach, on September 3rd in a tragic accident. I can't believe it will soon be 9 months. I remember when we picked up his ashes how devastating that was/is. The other day I was dusting and had to pick up Zach's ashes and his picture, it made me so incredibly angry. I have to say though, that not every day is unbearable any more. For me I have found that my grief is like a roller coaster, there are days that are okay, sometimes even days that I have been able to laugh with my family, then the next day it will hit me like it is all just happening all over again. I feel like the only way I continue to get up in the morning, is all the prayers that have been said for me and my family. One day, one minute, one second at a time is all I can do. Hugs and prayers for you. Robin

Thanks everyone.  It helps to know that there are people out there that understand what I'm going through and who care.  I'm actually feeling a little better today.  I had a dream about my husband last night.  It was nothing special, we were just doing our usual daily stuff around the house but I got to kiss him, and somehow that made me feel better today.  

Thanks.  It's amazing that that one little thing could make me feel better.

Aw, my husbands remains are sitting over the fireplace too; I made a shrine with some of his things.  It will be a year 6/6 and my life is still enduring torture and enjoying a few good times now and then.  I just saw that movie the Edge and he reminded me so much of Anthony Hopkins and the character, I cried through the whole thing. I have thought the exact same things you are, but I try to ride out the bad times and know that there will be good things again sometime.  Its a very unbearable thing to go through.  I am sorry we all ended up here.

Im sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents this year. Both were young 47 and 44 and unexpected. We burried my dad but my mom always talked about cremation so we cremated her. Im 25, the oldest of 3 so I got my mom's remains and choose how to disburse them, which was between my brother my sister and myself but after that there still was alot of remains left. I felt the same way, all I got now is ashes and a broken heart. My mom wants her ashes scattered in Maine, I am from Wisconsin so I will be traveling there when its summer. I felt the same way tho, kept telling myself I wish it was me that went and I wanted to buy a plot right next to my dad bcuz I wanted to go soon, but I have 2 kids and they have kept me going and gave me a reason for living. They say time heals but for me its getting harder with time and of course you could not imagine your self with someone else, its too soon. Just take one day at a time.

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

Mandy85 is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Tuesday
St. Brigid is now friends with M Adams and Michael Thompson
Monday
St. Brigid commented on M Adams's blog post Moriturus
"I met my best friend while in MA school for literature. I was a big fan of her as a poet, but never read this one. Her use of rhythm, her play on words, her fantastic interpretation of meaning...this was the stuff of David's and my…"
Monday
St. Brigid commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Surprised by Joy By William Wordsworth Surprised by joy—impatient as the Wind I turned to share the transport—Oh! with whom But Thee, long buried in the silent Tomb, That spot which no vicissitude can find? Love, faithful love,…"
Monday
Joe Kelly commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"St. Brigid, Sorry for your loss.  I too feel so alone, sad, empty and lost.  I lost my darling wife over two years ago and as time goes by, I get worse.  I wait for death to be reunited with her in her realm and the sooner the…"
Monday
St. Brigid joined Jesse's Mom's group
Sunday
St. Brigid commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I just finished up everything with my once in a lifetime's friends estate. I spent two and half months in TX, a thousand miles away from friends and family dealing with it. Now, paperwork filed away, estate lawyer paid, bills taken care, it and…"
Sunday
St. Brigid joined Katherine Ellis's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Sunday
St. Brigid posted a status
"In despair.friend died on Dec 20th. Spent weeks in TX closing his estate. Back in MN and have finished with the estate. Now I am in despair."
Sunday
St. Brigid updated their profile
Sunday
St. Brigid is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
bluebird and Mark Coz are now friends
Friday
Profile IconaRin Smith and Mark Coz joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"do not no how mad i am or mad i am but all ilness goin on in wolrd big c th c dises viris pepplee cnt luv or kiss luv 1s coz of it cnt sea my mom till god noze how long coz of rstict loc doon ruless "
Mar 25
dream moon JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"hi evry 1 still hatee big c now hate ths evil viris we got now"
Mar 25
Rhonda Partin-Sharp commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Multiple Losses Group
"Hi.  I'm new to this group.  I've been on a group for losing my Mom and my Dad and there have been others I've lost that I never got in a group for.  My father-in-law passed away on March 14.  I'm sadder than…"
Mar 25
Rhonda Partin-Sharp joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Thumbnail

Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Mar 25
Profile IconJessica lee kent and Kathlyn Powell joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 25
Keifus Mathews left a comment for Mary Walker
"Sorry for your lost~"
Mar 23

© 2020   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service