I just got my husband's remains from the funeral home.  Now all that's left of him is sitting there on the fireplace in a simple box.  I feel like I'm going through slow torture and I just wish God would take me too so that I could be with him again.  I miss him so much.  Most times I just don't want to go on without him but I try because I know he would want me to live and be happy.  I don't see ever being happy again.  I don't see ever being with someone else or sharing my life with someone.  We were perfect together and even if he's gone he's my husband and always will be.  I know I'll be alone for the rest of my life, I just hope that it's not too much longer. I don't know how to go on without him. 

Views: 428

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Hi justkate,

I am sorry you are in the dumps, my dog just threw up today too!  Maybe they are feeling our sadness.  We have to be strong for them!  Some people are callous about grief or is that strength of character, I don't know.  Life never seems to turn out the way we want but we have to ride it, roll with it and try to make it interesting.  xo

Hi Debra,

My husband died of liver cancer too, diagnosed 4/20/11, gone 6/6/11.  Not much time but am glad we had time to say goodbye.  In those 6 weeks, I felt we fell in love all over again; everything we ever first felt for each other grew even greater during those last weeks.  I hope you enjoy a little country humor my neighbor told me that was told to her when her husband passed;  A young man sat down at a bar next to an old man.  He said his wife was visiting his mother for the weekend and he was all alone.  He asked the old man if he had a wife and he said he was widowed and then told him, "Ya see, you're not really alone till its etched in stone."  Ain't that the truth!

I chuckled at your joke! I recently adopted one of Bob's mom's expressions "Ain't that the truth?!" so I got a kick out of that, too :-) I see on your Page that you had Hospice for him. Same here, I stayed by his side every minute that I was able. That means you saw all the weird, scary stuff that his body experienced and I'm so sorry that you, too, went through that. Given the situation, though, if I had it to do over, I wouldn't change a thing! Special hugs to you and we will get stronger in their honor.

Hi justkate - read this reply and liked it a lot.  I think it's so incredibly important to know that our late loved ones would want us to move forward, to get on with our lives and to not get stuck in the grief and the sadness.  That's something I remind myself of constantly.  Of course we're sad and of course we miss them and we will, most certainly, go through our grief and mourning - that's normal and to be expected - but we can grieve and live at the same time.  Yes, it's hard...yes, it hurts...but I well know that my husband would not want to think of me as being miserable and sad for the rest of my life.  For me, living my life as best I can and as positively as possible is the best way of honoring him and honoring all of our wonderful years together.  I want my life to be a testament to the relationship that we had and to all the wonderful years that we shared.   Wishing you all the best.  Lynne

Joanne, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, I have lost many loved ones but most recently my son, Zach, on September 3rd in a tragic accident. I can't believe it will soon be 9 months. I remember when we picked up his ashes how devastating that was/is. The other day I was dusting and had to pick up Zach's ashes and his picture, it made me so incredibly angry. I have to say though, that not every day is unbearable any more. For me I have found that my grief is like a roller coaster, there are days that are okay, sometimes even days that I have been able to laugh with my family, then the next day it will hit me like it is all just happening all over again. I feel like the only way I continue to get up in the morning, is all the prayers that have been said for me and my family. One day, one minute, one second at a time is all I can do. Hugs and prayers for you. Robin

Thanks everyone.  It helps to know that there are people out there that understand what I'm going through and who care.  I'm actually feeling a little better today.  I had a dream about my husband last night.  It was nothing special, we were just doing our usual daily stuff around the house but I got to kiss him, and somehow that made me feel better today.  

Thanks.  It's amazing that that one little thing could make me feel better.

Aw, my husbands remains are sitting over the fireplace too; I made a shrine with some of his things.  It will be a year 6/6 and my life is still enduring torture and enjoying a few good times now and then.  I just saw that movie the Edge and he reminded me so much of Anthony Hopkins and the character, I cried through the whole thing. I have thought the exact same things you are, but I try to ride out the bad times and know that there will be good things again sometime.  Its a very unbearable thing to go through.  I am sorry we all ended up here.

Im sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents this year. Both were young 47 and 44 and unexpected. We burried my dad but my mom always talked about cremation so we cremated her. Im 25, the oldest of 3 so I got my mom's remains and choose how to disburse them, which was between my brother my sister and myself but after that there still was alot of remains left. I felt the same way, all I got now is ashes and a broken heart. My mom wants her ashes scattered in Maine, I am from Wisconsin so I will be traveling there when its summer. I felt the same way tho, kept telling myself I wish it was me that went and I wanted to buy a plot right next to my dad bcuz I wanted to go soon, but I have 2 kids and they have kept me going and gave me a reason for living. They say time heals but for me its getting harder with time and of course you could not imagine your self with someone else, its too soon. Just take one day at a time.

RSS

Latest Activity

Profile IconMelissa, Rhys, Jessie Karen and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
3 hours ago
Aright updated their profile
Monday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, I understand what you mean.  There will never be anymore of what we did together, IT IS FINISHED."
Oct 10
Mandy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Oct 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Strike those vacations below, they'll never be another one.  Went on a memorial cruise with my daughter and family four months after she passed because she was so looking forward to it.  It hurt enough to know they'll be no more."
Oct 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes Elynn, the loneliness.  That's painful.  They're not here and always was.  Our best friend, lover, and most precious thing we had.  We were lucky enough to spend the last 8 1/2 years together, joined at the…"
Oct 9
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I've had a rough few weeks.   August 31st would have been our 45th wedding anniversary.   September 27 was year 4 of my husband's passing.   It's pretty lonely around here.  Its difficult to talk…"
Oct 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Every day for me is the same day she passed.  Not a joyful or even an ok moment.  I spend a little time with the children and grands and do my best to hide my emotions, but they all know how I am inside, even the youngest grand at age 4…"
Oct 8
Profile IconDinah and Morgan A Conger joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, I feel the same as you. My sweet dog Babie J is nearing the Rainbow Bridge. I wanted stay on this earth for her. Once she passes I will do nothing to save my own soul.  "
Oct 8
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't know if we can rethink our emotions that way. Our emotions are what they are, although reason can help us form our emotions and hopefully change them for the better. I don't know if my mom can hear me or not. I certainly…"
Oct 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"How are you all doing?  I had bad last 2 days. Felt lot of guilt and cried. There were some moments which made me remember my mother.  Also I hear comforting words by a lady that people who have gone from this world can still feel your…"
Oct 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I wonder how i am managing.  Not well and to be onest today I wanted to just set a date with death. I am approaching seven years of being without him and though I function towards the outside world better and my crying has lessened but at the…"
Oct 7
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"What a horrible price to pay for love. "
Oct 7
Profile IconZed and Amy joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 4
Jodi Karron joined donna henderson's group
Thumbnail

for loved ones who have lost someone to suicide

if you have lost someone by suicide post your thoughts here.
Oct 3
Dayna posted a group
Thumbnail

Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
Oct 3
Profile IconBrandi and Jennifer Pollard joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 2
Dayna commented on Kim Darichuk's status
"I am very sorry to hear about your Mom passing. I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago and just my identical twin sister last month to an overdose. My mother and I were not as close as I would have liked. The disease kept her depressed and…"
Oct 2

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service