I just got my husband's remains from the funeral home.  Now all that's left of him is sitting there on the fireplace in a simple box.  I feel like I'm going through slow torture and I just wish God would take me too so that I could be with him again.  I miss him so much.  Most times I just don't want to go on without him but I try because I know he would want me to live and be happy.  I don't see ever being happy again.  I don't see ever being with someone else or sharing my life with someone.  We were perfect together and even if he's gone he's my husband and always will be.  I know I'll be alone for the rest of my life, I just hope that it's not too much longer. I don't know how to go on without him. 

Views: 428

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Hi justkate,

I am sorry you are in the dumps, my dog just threw up today too!  Maybe they are feeling our sadness.  We have to be strong for them!  Some people are callous about grief or is that strength of character, I don't know.  Life never seems to turn out the way we want but we have to ride it, roll with it and try to make it interesting.  xo

Hi Debra,

My husband died of liver cancer too, diagnosed 4/20/11, gone 6/6/11.  Not much time but am glad we had time to say goodbye.  In those 6 weeks, I felt we fell in love all over again; everything we ever first felt for each other grew even greater during those last weeks.  I hope you enjoy a little country humor my neighbor told me that was told to her when her husband passed;  A young man sat down at a bar next to an old man.  He said his wife was visiting his mother for the weekend and he was all alone.  He asked the old man if he had a wife and he said he was widowed and then told him, "Ya see, you're not really alone till its etched in stone."  Ain't that the truth!

I chuckled at your joke! I recently adopted one of Bob's mom's expressions "Ain't that the truth?!" so I got a kick out of that, too :-) I see on your Page that you had Hospice for him. Same here, I stayed by his side every minute that I was able. That means you saw all the weird, scary stuff that his body experienced and I'm so sorry that you, too, went through that. Given the situation, though, if I had it to do over, I wouldn't change a thing! Special hugs to you and we will get stronger in their honor.

Hi justkate - read this reply and liked it a lot.  I think it's so incredibly important to know that our late loved ones would want us to move forward, to get on with our lives and to not get stuck in the grief and the sadness.  That's something I remind myself of constantly.  Of course we're sad and of course we miss them and we will, most certainly, go through our grief and mourning - that's normal and to be expected - but we can grieve and live at the same time.  Yes, it's hard...yes, it hurts...but I well know that my husband would not want to think of me as being miserable and sad for the rest of my life.  For me, living my life as best I can and as positively as possible is the best way of honoring him and honoring all of our wonderful years together.  I want my life to be a testament to the relationship that we had and to all the wonderful years that we shared.   Wishing you all the best.  Lynne

Joanne, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, I have lost many loved ones but most recently my son, Zach, on September 3rd in a tragic accident. I can't believe it will soon be 9 months. I remember when we picked up his ashes how devastating that was/is. The other day I was dusting and had to pick up Zach's ashes and his picture, it made me so incredibly angry. I have to say though, that not every day is unbearable any more. For me I have found that my grief is like a roller coaster, there are days that are okay, sometimes even days that I have been able to laugh with my family, then the next day it will hit me like it is all just happening all over again. I feel like the only way I continue to get up in the morning, is all the prayers that have been said for me and my family. One day, one minute, one second at a time is all I can do. Hugs and prayers for you. Robin

Thanks everyone.  It helps to know that there are people out there that understand what I'm going through and who care.  I'm actually feeling a little better today.  I had a dream about my husband last night.  It was nothing special, we were just doing our usual daily stuff around the house but I got to kiss him, and somehow that made me feel better today.  

Thanks.  It's amazing that that one little thing could make me feel better.

Aw, my husbands remains are sitting over the fireplace too; I made a shrine with some of his things.  It will be a year 6/6 and my life is still enduring torture and enjoying a few good times now and then.  I just saw that movie the Edge and he reminded me so much of Anthony Hopkins and the character, I cried through the whole thing. I have thought the exact same things you are, but I try to ride out the bad times and know that there will be good things again sometime.  Its a very unbearable thing to go through.  I am sorry we all ended up here.

Im sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents this year. Both were young 47 and 44 and unexpected. We burried my dad but my mom always talked about cremation so we cremated her. Im 25, the oldest of 3 so I got my mom's remains and choose how to disburse them, which was between my brother my sister and myself but after that there still was alot of remains left. I felt the same way, all I got now is ashes and a broken heart. My mom wants her ashes scattered in Maine, I am from Wisconsin so I will be traveling there when its summer. I felt the same way tho, kept telling myself I wish it was me that went and I wanted to buy a plot right next to my dad bcuz I wanted to go soon, but I have 2 kids and they have kept me going and gave me a reason for living. They say time heals but for me its getting harder with time and of course you could not imagine your self with someone else, its too soon. Just take one day at a time.

RSS

Latest Activity

Profile IconLaura and Jessica joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
9 hours ago
Jessica updated their profile
18 hours ago
Analucia posted a status
"It still hurts"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Avi. I hope that we are all doing great as well. That's a lot to hope for. When I first lost my mom, the idea of doing great seemed impossible, and it still seems like it is an incredibly hard task. I think of what we are experiencing now…"
Saturday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi AllHope you all are doing great. I felt really discomfort yesterday, not sure why. I remembered my mother and talked to her, felt better. Sometimes I feel she is around. "
Saturday
Matthew updated their profile
Wednesday
Matthew is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
Sep 12
Kim Darichuk is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 11
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.  God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
Sep 11
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
Sep 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Sep 10
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her.  Like yesterday, I found a small  3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
Sep 9
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me. Joe,  So true.  That's exactly why I post here too.  I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone.  That consoles…"
Sep 9
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello All, I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Sep 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all.  Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
Sep 9
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us. You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Sep 9
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
Sep 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T,   I saw your post late late last night.  I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing.  After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Sep 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.  Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
Sep 8

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service