When you are grieving it’s important that you take care of yourself through difficult times. We’ve all been knocked off center and find it hard to take care of our own health needs.

How do we get through these difficult times and eat right to sustain our bodies? Here's a method to use at meal times:


Using your dinner plate, put a line down the middle of the plate.

  1. On one side, cut it again so you will have 3 sections on your plate.
  2. Fill the largest section with non starchy vegetables such as:
    1. spinach, carrots, lettuce, greens, cabbage, bok choy
    2. green beans, broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes,
    3. vegetable juice, salsa, onion, cucumber, beets, okra,
    4. mushrooms, peppers, turnip
  3. Now in one of the small sections, put starchy foods:
    1. whole grain breads, whole wheat or rye
    2. whole grain, high-fiber cereal
    3. cooked cereal such as oatmeal, grits, hominy, or cream of wheat
    4. rice, pasta, tortillas
    5. cooked beans and peas, such as pinto beans or black-eyed peas
    6. potatoes, green peas, corn, lima beans, sweet potatoes, winter squash
    7. low-fat crackers and snack chips, pretzels, and fat-free popcorn
  4. And then on the other small section, put your protein or plant based protein food items such as:
    1. chicken or turkey without the skin
    2. fish such as tuna, salmon, cod, or catfish
    3. other seafood such as shrimp, clams, oysters, crab, or mussels
    4. lean cuts of beef and pork such as sirloin or pork loin
    5. tofu, eggs, low-fat cheese
    6. beans
  5. Add an 8 oz glass of nonfat or low fat milk. If you don’t drink milk, choose yogurt or a calcium fortified beverage.  
  6. Add a piece of fruit or a 1/2 cup fruit salad.   Fresh, frozen, or canned in its own juice.
  7. Also take a daily multi-vitamin/mineral supplement.  (I consider this part of your health insurance policy)

That completes your well-balanced meal.  If you just can't eat at all, you could drink a meal replacement like boost, ensure, shakeology, etc.  

Questions are welcome.  


Tags: eat, health, right

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I unfortunately don't have any problems eating, I'm an emotional eater and my mom's passing has not helped any at all! Also I've gotten to where now, I'm so empty without my mom that I can't tell when I'm physically empty or just hurting emotionally..I have gained so much weight over the past nine months!:/

i am eating a litle bit beter but not like i usedd to im on steriods at the minit 1 time if i woz on thm i wud over eat butthis time no im just eating small food like kids size meal 

It's been 3 months since the passing of my mom. I too am finding it very difficult to eat. I think I am hungry then I just gag when I put a bite in my mouth. Now I am told to eliminate caffeine due to sudden anxiety and panic attacks. Not sure where I'm suppose to get energy from now! I have lost 8 pounds to date. Doc just put me on buspar for the anxiety so I am praying this helps. I am not one for meds but the anxiety is truly getting uncontrollable at this point. I am taking my dog for a daily walk no matter the temperature outside. The colder the better if you can believe that, it makes me "feel". At this stage my main goal is sleep and exercise and trying to eat. I also thought about a daily shake to get nutrients in me but not sure I can keep it down. I have to try something though! Good luck everyone, have faith!

Ronica -- Have you been able to cry? I mean like fall-on-the-floor cry?

The first three months, I ended up losing about 15 lbs. I completely lost my appetite. Then, on the fourth month mark (more or less) I noticed I was eating compulsively, gained the weight back. It was as if I was trying to feel the void with food after the shock. Now, I am eating more or less when I remember to. Nothing will ever be the same.

When my husband first died, for about 3 months afterwards I barely ate anything. I had NO appetite, and I definitely wasn't going to cook anything (I had no energy or "oomph".  Still don't). So if my family cooked something or bought me a sandwich or whatever, I would eat a few bites.  I lost a bunch of weight, which honestly I needed to lose anyway, though of course I would rather have lost it another way.


Since then, I have gained back the weight I lost and more. I sometimes have an appetite and sometimes don't, but I've always been an emotional eater and so that's what I do now. I still have no desire to cook (making real meals was something I did for my husband and myself together -- now there's no reason to do it), so I end up eating frozen stuff I can microwave, and junk food like pizza and chocolate. Even so, some days I will end up barely eating, and even when I do eat I really don't taste it most of the time. For example, I used to love ice cream, and now it's just "meh" to me. I've bought it a few times and eaten it, but nothing tastes good to me anymore.  I'm fine with having gained weight, though.  I don't care at all what I look like anymore, without my husband here, plus if I am unhealthy I will die sooner, which is what I want.

I find thats the same way with me emotional wise. My wife died in May of 2012 and then early retirement, alot to take on. Iam making a concerned effort to get back on track .

If getting back on track is what you want, then I wish you good luck with it. Maybe you could see a nutritionist for some help with that.

on/off again i seam 2 drink a lot of soda a lot oreat beat sinse lst loss


My problem is constantly overeating and bingeing on junk food. I feel depressed so I eat to comfort myself but still feel just as empty after I've finished eating and the cycle continues.

Same here, Rosie. When my husband died, I pretty much stopped eating, lost about 30 lbs (which I did need to lose anyway).  That lasted for three or four months. Then I started eating way too much, and usually bad stuff (pizza, cookies, etc.), and I gained back the 30 lbs, plus about another 40 lbs, so now i'm very overweight and I simply don't care.  And it's not even as if eating really comforts me, anymore.  nothing even tastes all that good. For example, I've always loved ice cream, and now -- meh.  Whatever, it's ok but not great. 


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