Another day without Carol Ann. - Online Grief Support - A Social Community2024-03-28T12:07:19Zhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/forum/topics/another-day-without-carol-ann?feed=yes&xn_auth=noHi Elizabeth, just saw your p…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2014-12-07:2054931:Comment:2121232014-12-07T17:14:49.489ZSandy Hendrixhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/SandyHendrix
<p>Hi Elizabeth, just saw your posts on here. The painting you showed us is amazing, you are very talented. I hope you are having better days now.</p>
<p>Hi Elizabeth, just saw your posts on here. The painting you showed us is amazing, you are very talented. I hope you are having better days now.</p> Sorry for the late reply.
Yea…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2014-09-12:2054931:Comment:2033032014-09-12T08:32:09.650ZElizabethhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/Elizabeth757
<p>Sorry for the late reply.</p>
<p>Yeah I went at art school .i have a dip art and a post grad degree.</p>
<p>Yeah when i get settled i plan to start painting again but for the moment I have resigned myself to renting for about a year and gone totally digital.</p>
<p>So so . Today I have working all day and i have been smiling some more. I seem to be coming to terms with Carol Anns death i wrote some words about it want to read some .Its about about our time in San Dago.…</p>
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<p>Sorry for the late reply.</p>
<p>Yeah I went at art school .i have a dip art and a post grad degree.</p>
<p>Yeah when i get settled i plan to start painting again but for the moment I have resigned myself to renting for about a year and gone totally digital.</p>
<p>So so . Today I have working all day and i have been smiling some more. I seem to be coming to terms with Carol Anns death i wrote some words about it want to read some .Its about about our time in San Dago.</p>
<p><a href="https://gabrielle.self-injury.net/topic/133733-the-smell-of-a-fender/#entry2999200" target="_blank">https://gabrielle.self-injury.net/topic/133733-the-smell-of-a-fender/#entry2999200</a></p>
<p>yeah i getting feelings of all sorts of things.</p>
<p>Im ok . At least i have got up off the dam floor. That's an achievement for me.</p>
<p>Hope your ok bluebird.</p>
<p>I guess we all find our place eventually.</p>
<p>here a picture of me smiling today. So i guess its a new season.</p>
<p><a href="https://safe-haven.staticish.com/uploads/monthly_09_2014/post-27728-0-54093000-1410501680_thumb.jpg.pagespeed.ce.mLndl9vvhg.jpg" target="_blank">https://safe-haven.staticish.com/uploads/monthly_09_2014/post-27728-0-54093000-1410501680_thumb.jpg.pagespeed.ce.mLndl9vvhg.jpg</a></p>
<p></p> So its September 9 .Today is…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2014-09-08:2054931:Comment:2032392014-09-08T19:00:18.487ZElizabethhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/Elizabeth757
<p>So its September 9 .Today is looking ok and I am grateful for that .I am feeling safer than I did yesterday. I am starting to do more things like write some music and just hobby stuff that brings me a bit of pleasure.</p>
<p>I know yesterday I said to myself just do something nice for lis ok. That kind new behaviour for me as usually im so functionally focused.</p>
<p>The mess really evolved around this health problem that needs surgery. Now that really messed my plans up. If it was not for…</p>
<p>So its September 9 .Today is looking ok and I am grateful for that .I am feeling safer than I did yesterday. I am starting to do more things like write some music and just hobby stuff that brings me a bit of pleasure.</p>
<p>I know yesterday I said to myself just do something nice for lis ok. That kind new behaviour for me as usually im so functionally focused.</p>
<p>The mess really evolved around this health problem that needs surgery. Now that really messed my plans up. If it was not for that I would be well on my way to finding a home where I can stay and get on with some work.</p>
<p>It got so complicated and I just shake my head about it all.</p>
<p>It was a mess really.</p>
<p>Actually it makes sense because it’s the Australian doctors are so much better than the Mexicans really .Or well the Mexicans I had they just picked up what the main issue was in me where as the Mexicans just missed it all.</p>
<p>Oh well.</p>
<p>I will get a home eventually I am very sure in a place I can be proud of and take care of.</p>
<p>Today is looking pretty non-threatening and it’s kind of boarding.</p>
<p>Oh I got the confidence to get my hair done tomorrow which means basically imp feeling better about myself.</p>
<p>I’m so terribly lonely without Carol Ann still and it’s been over a year since she passed. I guess after 17 years it takes allot of time ay.</p> I honestly thought I would be…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2014-09-08:2054931:Comment:2030292014-09-08T09:14:14.121ZElizabethhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/Elizabeth757
<p>I honestly thought I would be thrown off this site for that link but apparently its still there. Its very expression really. I feel so bad about every thing. Sorry it was so raw.</p>
<p>I honestly thought I would be thrown off this site for that link but apparently its still there. Its very expression really. I feel so bad about every thing. Sorry it was so raw.</p> MY SITUATION TODAY.
Thanks bl…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2014-09-07:2054931:Comment:2031182014-09-07T09:08:13.698ZElizabethhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/Elizabeth757
<p>MY SITUATION TODAY.</p>
<p>Thanks bluebird.</p>
<p>Im in the sadness pit again.</p>
<p>All I can do is lay down on the floor and stare at the grey wall again.</p>
<p>Yes bluebird i am a professional artist.</p>
<p>But because of my situation I can not work at the moment.</p>
<p>I guess we all go up and down with this grief .Today its very bad again.</p>
<p>Today life seems hopeless yet again.</p>
<p>Want a link to how I am feeling today?</p>
<p>This would explain more than I could dam well…</p>
<p>MY SITUATION TODAY.</p>
<p>Thanks bluebird.</p>
<p>Im in the sadness pit again.</p>
<p>All I can do is lay down on the floor and stare at the grey wall again.</p>
<p>Yes bluebird i am a professional artist.</p>
<p>But because of my situation I can not work at the moment.</p>
<p>I guess we all go up and down with this grief .Today its very bad again.</p>
<p>Today life seems hopeless yet again.</p>
<p>Want a link to how I am feeling today?</p>
<p>This would explain more than I could dam well rewrite.</p>
<p>Excuse the swearing but its NOT posted on this site.</p>
<p>My feelings are so bitter and painful today.</p>
<p>I am unsure what you can say on this site and what you can not.</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">WARNING If your easily offended by bad language DO NOT click on this hyperlink.</span></p>
<p><a href="https://gabrielle.self-injury.net/topic/133708-greetings-from-australia/#entry2998410" target="_blank">https://gabrielle.self-injury.net/topic/133708-greetings-from-australia/#entry2998410</a></p>
<p>So that's about it.</p>
<p>Its 7.00 pm and im going to bed to turn life off for a while.</p>
<p>I hate me tonight.</p>
<p></p> You painted that? I'm a write…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2014-09-06:2054931:Comment:2029012014-09-06T17:13:22.485Zbluebirdhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/Kristina68
<p>You painted that? I'm a writer, not a visual artist, but in my opinion you have some real talent. Did you go to art school? Have you considered trying to make some money from your art? It's very hard to make a living just from art, but maybe you could supplement your income with it. Plus, I think it would probably help your self-esteem. Anyway, I think it's a good painting.</p>
<p>You painted that? I'm a writer, not a visual artist, but in my opinion you have some real talent. Did you go to art school? Have you considered trying to make some money from your art? It's very hard to make a living just from art, but maybe you could supplement your income with it. Plus, I think it would probably help your self-esteem. Anyway, I think it's a good painting.</p> Now im feeling sad again.tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2014-09-05:2054931:Comment:2029152014-09-05T20:13:17.738ZElizabethhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/Elizabeth757
<p>Now im feeling sad again.</p>
<p>Now im feeling sad again.</p> I am feeling today somewhat d…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2014-09-05:2054931:Comment:2028052014-09-05T20:12:40.509ZElizabethhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/Elizabeth757
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2767210171?profile=original" target="_self"><img class="align-full" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2767210171?profile=original" width="282"></img></a> I am feeling today somewhat different to grief and I think it is changing some. Im still dropping into massive holes of human despair over the whole incident.…</span></p>
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<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2767210171?profile=original" target="_self"><img width="282" class="align-full" src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2767210171?profile=original"/></a>I am feeling today somewhat different to grief and I think it is changing some. Im still dropping into massive holes of human despair over the whole incident.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Funny I am starting to allow myself to think what a god dammed bitch she was at times and how she abused me. Did not listen to me and some negative stuff like that.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Maybe that’s a change in what’s happening to my grief.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">I still maintain the memorial and witness to Carol Ann as he definitely stated she wanted no funeral or anything inside I think she did want to be remembered.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">I cried a little last night but mostly as I stated had a day off from all this as much as I could and did a painting. Work helps me so much.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">It gives me structure and a hope that maybe in later life there is still something better for me.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Like the worst is yet to come is my attitude sometimes or well many times.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">I woke up this morning and in a pre-coffee haze took the wrong meds like I took a night time med. That was pretty dumb.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Today looks like its going to be one of my better days but who knows. I often start out good and then something right out of my control happens.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Hummm .In short my greif continues but I seem to have the capacity to do something else with it all for a short period of time and the fact that I can remember how much I hated her too at times and how our relationship was so messy could be a good thing.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Maybe im growing up in this most wretched issue.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">Could be wrong.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">I so much wish I had a picture of her.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">I have only a pair of her track pants and out donkey mascots left.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 8pt;"><span style="line-height: 107%; font-family: 'Verdana','sans-serif'; font-size: 10pt;">I miss her so much .Even the fighting was a form of intimacy.</span></p>
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<p></p> Yeah thanks bluebird it did h…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2014-09-05:2054931:Comment:2026872014-09-05T07:12:45.948ZElizabethhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/Elizabeth757
<p>Yeah thanks bluebird it did help. I made a picture would you like to see?</p>
<p>Its called Weird St 56. Its helps me to work .</p>
<p><a href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2767210116?profile=original" target="_self"><img src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2767210116?profile=original" width="652" class="align-full"/></a></p>
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<p><a href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2767210116?profile=original" target="_self"> </a></p>
<p>Yeah thanks bluebird it did help. I made a picture would you like to see?</p>
<p>Its called Weird St 56. Its helps me to work .</p>
<p><a href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2767210116?profile=original" target="_self"><img src="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2767210116?profile=original" width="652" class="align-full"/></a></p>
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<p><a href="http://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/2767210116?profile=original" target="_self"> </a></p> I hope that continues to help…tag:www.onlinegriefsupport.com,2014-09-04:2054931:Comment:2027732014-09-04T20:02:29.115Zbluebirdhttp://www.onlinegriefsupport.com/profile/Kristina68
I hope that continues to help you. (((((Elizabeth)))))
I hope that continues to help you. (((((Elizabeth)))))